#2431 - Shane Gillis

[00:00] Joe Rogan podcast check it out the Joe Rogan experience train by day Joe Rogan podcast by night all day he's having a good old time I'm sure he loves doing that just fucking wish it didn't piss me off [00:20] It pisses you off that he just checks out? Yeah. What pisses you off? I don't know. [00:25] I love it. I love that he does it. No, it's just art. It's fun to... But it's like the more successful he gets, the more dangerous it is. It's like people know who you are, dude. [00:34] You've been seen by millions of people. You can't pretend you're this like... [00:37] anonymous backpacker anymore you fucking weirdo he comes back my favorite was a couple years like when he came back from peru [00:46] We were doing Legion of Skanks, and he was in the crowd and thought it was going to be a big surprise that he's back. He came back, and we were like, oh, what's up? How are you here? We were talking about the U.S. He was like, guys, you haven't seen me in so long. I was like, I don't see any of my friends. Yeah, you were saying, I see everybody every six months. I forgot you left. Right. I only see Norman every six months, maybe. Maybe a little more when we get popping with Protect Our Parks. Bro. [01:09] It's not the same without them. I know it's not. [01:12] I'm still going to get drunk, but. It's a little sad, though. It's a little more pathetic. I'm drinking by myself. [01:21] It's a little more sad. [01:22] I've had a few drinks. [01:24] I had a whiskey before a show recently. I had a couple glasses of wine with dinner the other day.

[01:30] But it's the most I've had is two. [01:32] But the days of drinking at night... I thought I had you last time we went to Mother's Show. The problem is health. [01:39] I'm too interested in health. I know. That's the problem. It's like the price you pay is legitimate. Yeah. [01:47] And I'm too interested in health. [01:50] I do too much to stay healthy. You work too hard to... I'm getting old, dude. I'm 58. The reality is, when was the last time I saw a really fit... [02:00] 78 year old guy [02:03] 78 years for me is not that far. Trump's jacked. Bro, that's 2005, okay? 2005 when I was still doing Fear Factor. [02:15] That's 20 years ago. Yeah. That's nothing. [02:18] That's like that. Time just flies by. All of a sudden, you're 78. You're my age. Yeah, exactly. Damn. [02:25] Yeah, exactly. [02:27] How old are you now? I just turned 38. Yeah. See? So think of that. Yeah. Yeah. [02:32] That's 20 years difference. Udemy is 20 years. [02:35] But me to like a dead guy is 20 years. 78-year-old guy is a dead guy. Yeah, there's the difference. [02:42] so I've been consciously thinking about that like don't let it get away from you that's the thing [02:51] Don't let it get away from you. Like, look at Jelly Roll. [02:54] Yeah. [02:55] fucking insane. Incredible. That dude just added decades onto his life. Oh, for sure. He was on his way out. He was close. He was on his way out. 40, 500, 40 pounds. Same talent, dropped it too.

[03:09] Did he? Yeah. How much did he drop? Fucking ton. Oh, no shit. I haven't seen him. Well, he did. I don't want to speak for him. I think he took one of the things. [03:16] It's fine, man. And I was like, man. Whatever you need to do. I was like, bro, just, what are you doing? [03:21] And he was like, "I was gonna die." [03:23] I was like, all right, fair. Yeah. Yeah. [03:25] You get too big and then he probably has sleep apnea, so he ain't getting any sleep. So at night he's choking, you know, and you're lying in bed in these weird hotel rooms. Yeah. And Sam, Sam, I'm going out from sleep apnea for sure. Bro, I have to wear a mouthpiece every night. Yeah. I wear a mouthpiece every night. [03:42] I found a great pillow, too. Do you think it hurts to die from sleep apnea? [03:46] No, you just choke. You stop breathing. That's it. It's a wrap. Probably didn't hurt at all. [03:52] You probably just go in your sleep. [03:53] Yeah, so what the fuck? It's not one of the worst ways to go. What are we talking about here? [03:57] Listen, it's just the problem is you're going way too young. You're going because someone's killing you, and that someone's you. [04:06] See, a lot of football players get it. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Because Reggie White died. They have giant necks. So the giant neck, when you're adding all this stuff here, it's kind of closing in. [04:16] And then you've got this big fucking head and this big-ass tongue, and it just falls over that hole. Yeah. And you just slip into darkness. [04:26] I ain't talking my language. Well, listen, for a lot of those guys... [04:30] Uh, it's all preventable. You know, you could sleep with a CPAP machine, which sucks. Dude, my dad, my dad has a sleep app machine and he, uh, he doesn't fucking clean it. He gets like eye infections. You just see him, he shows up with double pay guy. You're like, yo, what the fuck? Bro, I tried that thing once, one time. How do you sleep with that?

[04:55] Can't. Can't do it. [04:58] I can't sleep with a lot of noise. I want to be able to wake up quick. I wake up quick. That's funny. I'm one of those wake-up guys. Like, if my wife grabs me, if she has to wake me up, she has to be kind of... [05:11] you know, ready. [05:12] that I don't grab her. Yeah. I don't know why. I've always woken up like that. So I don't want... [05:17] Any noise. I listen to noise when I sleep. And then I have that thought, though. It's like if somebody breaks in. I want to hear everything. Sure. [05:23] Well, this is like... [05:25] I used to always have a lot of dangerous dogs. I used to have like multiple pit bulls. I used to have – I used to have – Me and him both was sleep apnea. But it's – I wanted – I always wanted things to be awake. Yeah. [05:39] That would bark. Bark. [05:41] If like something was at the door, like living by yourself in Hollywood. [05:46] I never lived in Hollywood, but I lived in North Hollywood, and then I lived in Encino, and then I moved further out. I just kept moving further and further out. I even thought about Santa Barbara. I'm like, why don't I get a big piece of property on Santa Barbara, get the fuck away from everybody? But, like, I don't want a machine going... Yeah. You're not hearing shit. [06:08] I would be paranoid. [06:10] I'd be feeling weird. I think when you hit machine time, it's like, dude, I hope someone breaks in here. [06:17] Who gives a fuck, dude?

[06:22] I've gotten sleep apnea. I get sleep apnea when I'm hungover. [06:26] That's when I get it. Right. [06:28] And I've got it on my planes. I'm waking myself up. So embarrassing. I had to wake this dude up and not wake this dude up, but tell him once we're on a long flight, like you're going to Europe or something. And this poor dude was choking so bad. He sat up and I said, hey, man. [06:46] You have sleep apnea. I go, have you ever been tested for sleep apnea? He was a younger guy. He was like in his 30s but real overweight. And I go, you got to go get tested. I go, you legitimately have sleep apnea. I go, I know because I have it. [07:00] And I told him, I'm like, you don't breathe for like nine seconds at a time. I watched him. [07:05] It was crazy. I got to be honest. Don't get me wrong. You did the right thing, but that would bum you out. Well, he was already friendly with me. Okay. We were already friendly. Okay. Because he was like, hey, I love your show. Waking up to like an in-shape jack dude being like, you're fat. I told him I have it too. [07:23] I have it too. I was informing him. I'm telling you. I go, it changed my life. And I just told him. I go, I got a mouthpiece that presses down on your tongue and keeps my tongue from sliding back. It's a game changer. I go, dude, you'll feel so much better. I tried it. Because I watched you choke. Yeah. Yeah. [07:38] The mouthpiece is tough, though. It's hard. If you're laying with your lady. Oh, that's a problem. You put the mouthpiece in. Yeah, and she wants to talk. Well, hold on a second. All of a sudden, I'm hard. We should probably have sex right now. Take that mouthpiece out. Yeah, you got to take it out. Go, hey, baby, are you awake? It's just another thing is mouth tape. You ever try that? No. You breathe it out of your nose? I got a deviated septum. It wouldn't. You should get that fixed, dog. I'm never going to fix anything. Oh, you should get that fixed. I got mine fixed. It was amazing. I didn't get it fixed until I was 40.

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[09:55] with code rogan spend five bucks to get 200 in rewards within 21 days that's code rogan in partnership with draft kings the crown is yours gambling problem call 1-800-GAMBLER 21 and over ohio only eligibility restrictions apply bonus bets expire seven days after issuance for additional terms and responsible gaming resources cdkng.co slash audio limited time offer [10:19] This episode is brought to you by Traeger Grills. If you enjoy food, and I mean really good food, Traeger is a game changer. This isn't just a grill. It's the ultimate way to cook outdoors, delivering unbeatable wood-fired flavor thanks to the all-natural hardwood pellets that fuel everything you grill, smoke, or bake. That's it. Just wood and fire and flavor. And what's truly wild is how easy it is. [10:49] handle the rest. Grilled steaks, smoked ribs, even baked pizza, all on one grill. If you're into fire, flavor, and doing things right, check out Traeger Grills. [11:01] Yeah. [11:02] I had it my whole – you just got a nose surgery? Yeah. It was awesome. [11:07] The result is awesome. I mean, I instantly gained like 10% cardio. [11:12] Yeah, because you breathe out of your nose now. I couldn't breathe out of my nose forever. I broke my nose when I was five. I fell down a flight of stairs. And then it was always crooked. Like it's like the bone got I got fucked. I probably should have went to a doctor. But you know, in the 70s, they just fucking dusted you off. So and then I broke my nose.

[11:31] Who knows how many times after that? Of course. Bunch times. Yeah. The most recent one in my 40s, I got kneed in the face in jujitsu or in my late 30s, rather. I got kneed in the face in jujitsu and I was fucking pouring blood. It doesn't look bad, though. No, it's not that bad. It's not flattened too much because I really stopped striking mostly when I was like 22, 23. I did a little of it when I came to L.A. again. I did a little sparring, but not too much. [12:01] hit in the nose over and over again, this piece of cartilage eventually collapses. And then you get this like flat thing there. Yeah. [12:09] Which doesn't bother me too much on dudes, but it bums me out when I see it on women fighters. It really does. [12:15] It bums me out. [12:16] I got so sexist. [12:19] It does. Bumps me out. Until you want to look pretty. I know. You go, why don't you look pretty? There's certain fights where women get really badly cut, and I have a really hard time with it. [12:31] I know. I shouldn't. I mean... I don't have a hard time with dudes. Well, it's hard to watch women get beat up. It is. Like, they're fucking... [12:39] That Iraq video we were watching. Oh, Jesus. It's hard to watch. What are you doing? Someone decided it would be a good idea to have a man box a woman. It was maybe some mouthy chick because she was really aggressive. She was. Even after he knocked her down, she jumped up and tried to swing on him, even when the referee was holding her back. She was very aggressive. But this dude beat the fucking dog shit out of her. She did survive the round.

[13:05] I guess. Didn't she get knocked down at the end and they stopped it? I think that – I could be wrong. It looked like the second. He was in his corner. Well, he was terrible. He was terrible. [13:13] He wasn't good. Yeah. He wasn't good. It was ridiculous. [13:17] Also, yeah, there it is. Jamie, don't make me watch this. This guy's just, I mean, it looks like he's got some rudimentary technique. He's just kind of swinging punches. But the power difference is just crazy. [13:30] And anybody who thinks it's not is just fucking delusional. The difference between a man and a woman is so big – [13:36] Even like a strong woman like Amanda Nunes should probably knock out most dudes. But she's not sparring a guy her weight that's going to go full blast. That's fucked. Yeah. [13:47] Even like a big power puncher for a woman. Oh, there. That's the end. That's horrible. That's crazy. But I think they were just in Fallujah, so fuck it. [13:57] My friend Tommy used to have a girlfriend that could definitely knock you out. Me? Knock me out. Dude, bro, I'm telling you, this girl could knock a man out. Tommy was always telling me how hard she hits those punching bag things, and he's like, let her hit your hand. So I go, okay. So I put my hand up. Bro, she blasted my hand, and I went, whoa. Whoa. [14:17] I was like, that is real. I go, that's a real problem. I go, dude, she'll knock you out. Do not get into an argument with your girlfriend. She's a big lady. Not like overweight, but a strong, stout lady. I was shocked. [14:29] There's girls out there that can flatline you. But not that one. Bro. How much would that suck? That would suck. Talking to your girl, you're like, this is my house. I make a whole... And she just fucking... She collects, cloress and shields you. She just fucking drops bombs on you, tunes you up with a nice four-piece combination. Couple hammer fists on the ground.

[14:53] Oh, fuck that, dude. Dude, think of talking to a girl and she gets in like a good stance. Oh, my God. A boxing stance. [14:59] Have you seen that really pretty girl that fights in the PFL? What's her name? Dakota Jecheva? I don't know how to say her last name. [15:06] I don't know. She's from England. I don't know what her ethnicity is, but she is like most of her fights win by knockout. She's this Muay Thai specialist, but she's pretty. She's real pretty and like slim and slender. It sounds awesome. Fox these girls up. That's it. Fox these girls up. [15:24] Like combination. That's her combination. Say that name. Decheva. [15:30] Decheva. [15:31] I don't know. I'm probably butchering it. A lot of those names, you can't really pronounce them the way you read them. That trips me up so hard at UFC weigh-ins. I have to write everything out phonetically. Oh, yeah. [15:43] Just cut to like when she's tuning up this girl. And she tunes up all these girls. She's nasty, man. Look at that knee to the body. And she's pretty. She's pretty. She's got a nice body. If you saw her at a club, you would say, wow, she looks really fit. Like maybe she's a cross fit or something. [16:01] Yeah. You try to hug her, you get put in the clinch, you get fucking elbowed. Just fucks you up. [16:09] But that video is wrong. The video in Iraq is just wrong. Don't do that. Don't do that to that poor lady. That lady got a lifetime worth of brain damage. She must have been talking so much shit that the whole – everybody agreed to it. Yeah. Everyone agreed. There's ladies like that out there just like there's guys like that out there. For sure. I've seen a lot of videos of guys just walking into a boxing gym for fucking – I'm a fucking street fighter. They have no skills. And some guy just fucking talks shit to them while he's beating the brakes off them.

[16:39] feet oh yeah like they're like kind of like on the balls of their like jumping around a little every punch they throw they leave their feet during the old days of martial arts they used to people would just show up at your gym and say they want to spar the best people there it would happen all the time how what years are these the 80s yeah that's because they were putting out those fucking sick-ass karate movies every single dude was like hold on a second is that me am i [17:09] Of course. They'd show up at a karate school and just get fucked up. It's horrible. [17:15] Just having a manic episode, being like, I'm about to throw a roundhouse kick. Horrible. [17:20] Horrible. Oh, man. Getting tuned up while you're having a mental breakdown. You're in the middle of a full schizophrenic break. You're seeing elves and shit. There's that fucking elf right there. He's in the gym. There's a dragon hiding behind the corner. You just get punched in the face. [17:36] Hold on. The fucking dragon's talking to me. He's got a trainer. It's a dragon. Can you imagine being schizophrenic? Imagine just seeing a world that's totally different than the world everybody sees. [17:50] fucked up and so you're just seeing things that aren't there, making connections that aren't real [17:56] And you don't know. [17:57] Kurt Mansker. [17:58] Metzger's fired up. Metzger's fired up. He'll get you. Metzger's got a touch. He got me at the holiday party. He's got a touch of the skits. He's fired up, dude. Bro, he is an encyclopedia of conspiracies.

[18:13] Yeah. [18:14] You just go back to, remember that thing in the 70s? Oh, yeah. Yeah. [18:19] He'll get it immediately. And he'll tell you more than you know. He'll tell you too much. He also talks about conspiracies with complete... [18:26] Oh, you didn't know this? Yeah, that's the best one. There's never like, there's a theory. Oh, you didn't know? Yeah. And he gets over you because he's such a goon. He like looms over you. He's this big fucking dude. He's giant eyebrows. He's so fucking funny. He's so funny. He's unbelievably funny. He's such a character. Like, you couldn't make a dude like that in a movie. People are like, that's too over the top. No, he's... [18:49] His comedy is... [18:50] Oh, yeah. Like, my favorite. He's great. He's a really great, like, he does the Jimmy Dore show, and he just jumps in with shit. Jumps in. It's always like, I'm always, like, watching this very serious thing. What the fuck did you say? What the fuck, Mads Gare? Mads Gare, he's come over to my house a couple times. He likes White Claws. He drinks White Claws. Oh, yeah, he brings his own. And then he gets going. Yeah, he always shows up in the green room with two White Claws in between his fingers. Always two White Claws. He's a two White Claw man. It's a good move. He's such a character. [19:20] He's always been that guy, too. He's so fun. I had the worst, one of the most embarrassing interactions with him. [19:27] He just put out White Precious, which was one of my favorite specials ever. [19:31] And... [19:32] Then I saw him in LA because I was opening for like Big J at the store. [19:36] And Metzger was there, and I was like, okay, I'm going to try to talk to Kurt. This is a big moment for me. And I was like, so when do you think your next special is? He was like, I don't fucking know, dude. He just walked away, and I was like, fuck, I blew it.

[19:51] There's so many of those. So many I wish I could take back. Yeah, the meeting people for the first time being super awkward or – [19:59] Oh, Attell got me with a terrible one. [20:03] I've talked about it before, but... [20:04] I walked outside of the cellar. I just had a good set. Like I was feeling good. And he was smoking a cigarette. And I was like, can I get one of those cigarettes? He was like, no. Just walked right back inside. [20:16] Fuck. [20:18] He thought you were going to bond. Meanwhile, he only had four left. Yeah. He likes fucking with people. How is he still alive? [20:25] Like, he does nothing to take care of himself. How many cigarettes does Dave smoke? [20:30] But [20:31] He smokes a lot of cigarettes. He's alive through pure laughter. Yeah. The amount of laughter he generates keeps his tissue excited. I was so lucky to just be like, because they would always put me with him at the end of the night. So I got to watch him for a few years, and it was like my favorite thing. But he just would make fun of me. He'd see me in the room and be like, oh, Shane must have had a good set. He's hanging out. Shane, where were you born? On the corner of AR and 15? [21:01] He's so good. [21:04] Yeah, he fucking really makes funny. You stand in the doorway and he's like, look at you, you fat piece. I love what he does. He'll do a show and then he'll bring his opening acts on the stage at the end of the show and just riff and just shit on them. [21:19] It's impossible to keep up. Ian just gets – Ian's good at it. He is, but he gets just steamrolled. Yeah, of course. Yeah. He knows Dave enough.

[21:28] To, like, know what he's looking for with the answer. I don't. So I'd be in the room and he'd be like, Jane, you look like a sex toy guy. What type of sex toys do you like? I'd be like, vibrators. He'd be like, oh, good answer. [21:41] Fuck, I don't know. The panic when you're a young comic of meeting, like, an established comic is very real. It's so bad. Very real. [21:49] This type of year when life ramps up and demands more of your energy, more work, more plans with family and friends and holiday travel all while it's getting darker and colder out, you can let it all drain your juice or you can get out ahead of it with AG1. AG1 is a daily health drink that can help you stay one scoop ahead of all the energy drains coming your way this season. Because the superfoods and B vitamins and every scoop of AG1 support steady energy production without the crash. [22:19] fact, just shaking up one scoop of AG1 in water covers your multivitamin, your pre and probiotics, antioxidants, superfoods, and more. It's one simple step to start your day ahead of anything that might come your way. And that's why I've partnered with them for years. And when you need energy support, AG1 delivers with superfoods and with B vitamins that help convert nutrients into energy for vigor and vitality. Subscribe today to get this clinically backed formula in the flavor [22:49] citrus, berry, or original to help you stay [22:53] One scoop ahead. AG1 has a special offer today. If you head to drinkag1.com slash Joe Rogan, you'll get the welcome kit, a morning person hat, a bottle of vitamin D3K2, and an AG1 flavor sampler for free with your first subscription. That's over $100 in free gifts. Just head over to drinkag1.com slash Joe Rogan or visit the link in the description to get started.

[23:23] I opened for Bert Kreischer in Helium. And then at Helium Filling, it was the first time I ever middled. [23:30] And I was like, that was a good show. [23:32] I should... And he was drunk after the show, and he was like, you should open for me. And I was like... [23:38] Fuck you. I'm going to... [23:39] email this guy. I emailed him like five times. The first email was like, I think you and me mesh together. [23:46] It was brutal. Me and Stan Hope were talking to him about it. This fucker still has the same email account. [23:53] So he brought it up. He read the email in front of me 10 years later. How does he still have the same email account for 10 years? [24:01] God, that would be... You got any of those? [24:04] What? Like when you were a young comic, just seeing somebody. Well, there's no emails back then. No, no, no. But I mean just like saying something that you – like you see a big comic and you're like – One time at MTV, Jon Stewart was having a meeting with this executive, and I had just met Jon Stewart like the first time. [24:23] And so I went in to say hi. I went in to say hi to the lady. And Jon Stewart was there. And I remember saying hi to him like, oh, hi. And then I remember I went. I go, wow, you got a great view. I looked out the window and I knocked something over like a fucking statue or some shit. And I had to grab it and pick it up. It didn't break. And I put it back. I'm like, all right, I'll just get out of here. I just felt like such a fucking clumsy dork. Because I had to look out. I had to say something nice like, wow, you got a great view. Yeah. [24:53] like oh no yeah knocking something over that like why did i go back there to look if i just said hi in the main room area everything would be like man that guy was cool that guy was cool no he had to go to the window and knock that haunted me for years i had to think about that knocking that stoop i don't even remember what it was i knocked over but i remember going oh no yeah it's terrible

[25:18] I went to see Soder's, he filmed one of his Comedy Central specials in Philly. [25:23] And I had just... [25:25] done a showcase with him in New York. Like I was like really excited that I did a show at the stand. [25:31] Because it was like the first time I ever did it, and he was on the lineup. So we're standing in line, and I was like, you think I should just tell these people that I just did a show with this guy? My friends were like, what the fuck are you talking about? And I was like, dude, I'll kill myself. Like right away, I was like, I'm so sorry. You think I should tell like the people with the security that I just did a show with him? [25:54] Oh, wow. [25:56] It's funny. It's really embarrassing. It is embarrassing now because now you're just like totally friends with all these guys. Yeah. It's totally normal. [26:03] That's what's weird. [26:05] Like, if I see Jon Stewart now, I give him a hug. Like, hey, what's up, dude? It's like totally normal. [26:10] He's just a person. Of course. When you see someone that you've seen on TV, like when you're young, it's weird. It is. [26:17] It takes a long time before it stops being weird. That's why it's like when people come up to me and do the same thing I used to do. [26:23] So I'm going to say, [26:24] The first time I met Norman and List... [26:27] It was after a show, and I was standing next to him, and I was like, you guys, it's funny, you guys sound just the same as you do on podcasts. I listen to you guys' podcasts. And they're like, who the fuck are you? [26:40] Yeah, it's brutal. [26:43] I mean... [26:44] There's no way to be comfortable. [26:45] How can you be? You have to go through it. [26:48] If you don't go through it, you're not going to be comfortable. You're going to be weirded out. There's no way around it. You want them to be your friend. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? You want them to like you. They have no idea who you are. You're like standing next to them. Yeah. Yeah.

[27:00] Yeah. Yeah. And then it gets, you know, there's levels of weirdness. [27:04] You know, like sometimes I've been, I mean, you're talking to someone, I'm like, [27:08] That's fucking Quentin Tarantino. How weird is this? I'm sitting here talking to Quentin Tarantino. There's certain guys that never stop being weird. It always stays a little weird because they're so famous. [27:19] Yeah. Mine's always athletes. [27:21] It's always an athlete that I didn't think was going to make me feel that way. That's interesting. You know how special they are. Aaron Judge from the Yankees got me. I couldn't even talk. It was fucking recent. It was crazy. He was hitting batting practice before Philly's Yankees. [27:39] And he saw me. I didn't know he knew who I was. And he, like, looked over before he, like, was entering the cage, and he was like... [27:44] What's up? And I was like, oh, shit. And then he got done and he walked over. He's like, what are you doing back there, big man? And I was like, oh, dude. [27:53] You were hitting him. Oh, yeah. He's a horse, dude. Yeah, that's a big fella. Yeah, you have no idea. I was full panicking that. [28:00] That's funny. Full panic. And then I think... [28:03] Yeah, that was the day me and my buddies did... [28:06] Nine hot dogs, nine beers, nine innings. Jeez. O'Connor had seven hot dogs before the first pitch. Then he passed out. He didn't have any beer. He fell asleep for a whole game. Just from the hot dogs? Seven hot dogs. [28:21] And we were with my buddy H Foley and he was getting other food. [28:24] He's a big fucking guy. Other than the nine hot dogs? Nine hot dogs was the challenge. And then other food? I watched him get a fucking cheesesteak.

[28:31] and nine hot dogs how how big is he he's as big as he's a big fuck big as it gets i feel bad i love him but for real he's about as funny as it gets though nine hot dogs and a cheese stick is crazy [28:47] That's a lot of volume, just like the sheer mass of it all. [28:51] You know? [28:52] Yeah, it was terrible. [28:54] You know that feeling that you get when you eat like a giant meal and then you look at yourself sideways in the mirror? You're like, oh, my God, I'm fucking pregnant. Yeah, every – I did it last night. All those plates stacked up on top of each other. Lately, I've been doing this one meal a day thing like the last few days. I don't think I'm going to stick with it. [29:13] Today I kind of cheated. I had a little bit of fruit. So last night I went to the – If I had a little bit of fruit, I'd be like, I'm the beacon of health. It's crazy I had fucking fruit today. You don't eat any fruit? [29:27] No. [29:28] No vitamins? I take vitamins. You take vitamins? What are you taking? [29:32] Uh, right now, just D, B, and C. Oh, okay. And I got some zinc and magnesium in there. You should go to Waste Well and you know what they'll do? I did. They gave me some shit. But they'll give you one based on your blood profile. Yes, they did. Yeah, they'll mix it for you. Yeah. Oh, it's the best. Yeah, it's great. You don't have to think. Yeah. I went to Waste Well fully going, I have to have diabetes. The fucking, as soon as they took my blood, there was like four days from when I got the results. Yeah. [29:57] I was in the green room talking to Simpson. [29:59] I was like, dude, there had to be symptoms, right? He was like, no, I just have diabetes. I was like, fuck, I definitely have diabetes. Nothing.

[30:07] It was a good result. [30:08] That is a good result. That's great. That liver is a motherfucker, dude. I couldn't believe it. Your liver's alright. Your liver's a motherfucker. You know what? It gets workouts. I think the... It gets workouts. True, it's jacked. Right? Your liver's jacked. If you think about it, look, running all the time, look, running one time until your heart explodes is not good for you, right? We all agree. You get a heart attack, you die. That's not good. Drinking yourself to death one time is not good for you. No. Definitely not. But running... [30:36] Every day, a little bit, a couple miles, you get in shape. I think this is wrong, but I like where you're going. Do you know what I'm saying? You know where I'm going with this? Like a little bit of whiskey, a little bit of booze, some drinking every day. Toughen that fuck up. Your liver is ready to go. Your liver is like a marathon runner. It is. [30:53] Right? Yeah, you'd think. Well, it's like that's why you have the tolerance you have, clearly. [30:58] Right, because the tolerance comes from just light beer. [31:01] Right. For real. If you get me, if I take two shots, I'm like, I gotta go home. It's crazy. Stan Hope does that too. He just sips light beer. [31:09] Oh, really? Yeah, he went to a cocktail phase. I don't know where he's at right now. When I was with him, he was fully on... [31:16] Like white Russians. Okay. Yeah. Cocktail face. He gets after it. Still. After all these years. He was doing good last time I saw him. He's great. Yeah. I heard he crushed at Skankfest. He murdered. Yeah. Tony said. It was awesome. He watched his set and he said he was just clapped. Tony said he was just going like this in the back of the room. Doug's always been one of the best. And he's like, that's him. Like, he's not putting on an act. That's genuinely him 24-7 with his stupid suits on and just thinking everything is hilarious.

[31:46] Thank you. [31:47] hanging out with a [31:48] army of idiots like there's so many fucking dudes that are like him they're all doing ridiculous shit and i yeah when i was living there it was just me and them i was the only guy that was like boys these guys are all like 50 and 60 hey man boys you gotta admire it no doctors fuck this we're riding this thing until the wheels fall off [32:10] Bingo is doing good too That's great Everything [32:13] It was nice to see. Yeah, because when we were doing that end of the world podcast one time, that's when Bingo fell. [32:20] Oh, it's so scary, man. Hitting your head is so scary. Speaking of hitting your head, what do you think is Jake Paul, Anthony Joshua fight? That's tonight. That is tonight. [32:29] You're going to watch it? Yeah, I'm definitely going to watch it. Were you watching it? I don't know. [32:32] I got a lot. We got a lot tonight. [32:34] We got Alabama, Oklahoma. Oh, okay. College football playoffs. [32:38] What else we got, J-Mo? [32:39] Just that? [32:40] All right. That's all great. Oh, yeah. I can't get excited about that. Another huge thing. I can't get excited about that while Jake Paul and Anthony Joshua are fighting. [32:50] I'm very excited about this. If Anthony Joshua doesn't take it easy, this should be... [32:55] How could he take it easy? [32:57] The whole world is watching. There's not a chance he's going to make it look like this guy can box with him. Can you imagine if Jake... [33:03] If he flatlines him? Oh, my God. What if he steps in and just right power bombs him right on the chin and Joshua's legs go out? [33:12] And he goes down. It'd be the saddest. [33:15] That'd be sad. Not for Jake Paul. Of course, that'd be awesome. I'm saying for Anthony Joshua, who's like...

[33:21] Who was, like, going to be the guy. Destroy some sportsbooks also, apparently. What are those odds? They'd lose $100 million or something, I think. Yeah. That's where. Yeah, there's a lot of people betting on the Jake Paul game. [33:34] He's a underdog right now. There's people betting on him? Yeah, because he's got – it's plus $6.50. You're making six times the money you put in. Yeah, but what are the odds? Really? Not good. What are the odds, really? I know that's the – I literally said what are the odds to the odds. Yeah, yeah, yeah. [33:49] But, I mean, if you're going to – Well, Vegas. It's like 99% in my eyes – [33:54] that Anthony Joshua either wins a decision or stops him. [33:58] This is because he is a two-time... It's not saying Jake Paul's not a good boxer. He's a real good boxer. He's, like, very underrated. [34:05] But he's a two-time heavyweight world champion. He's like one of the fucking scariest guys in the division. Lightning-fast punches. [34:13] [redacted address] bigger. [34:18] Way more skill. He's like a foot taller. What's the height difference? [34:22] I saw him at the weigh-in. I think he's five inches taller, four or five inches taller. But the point is, he's one of the best heavyweight boxers alive. Yeah. [34:30] And Jake Paul is a guy that is, you know, very impressive for a guy beating up Ben Askren and knocking out Tyron Woodley. Very impressive. Yeah. [34:39] There's levels. Knocking out Mike Perry, very impressive. There's levels. This is a crazy jump. That's why I think the only reason the odds are not... [34:48] 40 to 1 is... People suspect shenanigans. Shenanigans. Yeah. They suspect shenanigans. But... If they come out and fucking circle each other like pro wrestling and grab the ropes, we're going to be like, no. Yes. You motherfuckers. When Nate fought him, that was great. Well, listen, that's another fight. Look, Nate... No disrespect to Nate, but Nate fought his career at 155 pounds for the most part. A couple fights at 170. Yeah. You know, a very good boxer for MMA. But...

[35:18] Jake Paul had his hands full and Nate had a bad shoulder. Those later rounds. Yeah. The late rounds Nate started. Yeah. Yeah. [35:25] Paul, 7-1 underdog, had attracted 82% of the bets and 90% of the money that had been wagered on DraftKings on the winner. [35:34] What? [35:37] A Paul upset would result in nearly a $100 million loss for the sportsbook. [35:41] Mm-hmm. [35:43] if Jake Paul just hated [35:46] Draft Kings, and they made a deal with Anthony Joshua. It's like, let's bankrupt these motherfuckers. Let's bankrupt these motherfuckers. We're going to bet it all on me. I mean, that's like a Guy Ritchie movie. It is. [35:59] But that's the other thing, because I saw Anthony – no disrespect to Anthony Joshua, but I saw – what fight was it? [36:05] recent like a year or two ago where he grabbed the mic after and started giving a fucking crazy speech and [36:11] Oh, I don't remember that. [36:13] He did? [36:14] Yeah, he gave a little weird... [36:16] After he lost, he like – oh, wait. Was it – Daniel Dubois? Was it – Oh, Usyk? Yeah. Yeah. What did he say? It was just kind of a weird thing to do after he lost to grab the mic and talk to the crowd and – Well, I think it was in his hometown. Yeah. [36:30] Oh, okay. [36:31] Wasn't it? Wasn't it in London? Definitely wasn't in fucking Usox. [36:37] No, I'm not making fun of the war. I'm just saying. Exactly. Who the fuck's going to travel there to see a fight? [36:43] Thank you. [36:44] I think that's probably why. [36:46] you know, [36:47] In England, they like...

[36:50] loser who keeps his chin up. Like a guy who loses. That's why I do well. They like a respectable winner who's respectable and shows good sportsmanship. [37:01] And a good character after it's over. I could be wrong. I just remember thinking it was odd. It's probably a cultural thing. He left the ring and came back. [37:09] And then they shook, and then I don't know what he said. Let's talk about Service Titan. Over 10,000 contractors already run their businesses on Service Titan. Now they're building an AI trained on real trades workflows. This isn't generic AI. This is AI built specifically for contracting work, HVAC, plumbing, electrical, and more. It's booking calls, helping run your back office, and growing your revenue automatically. [37:39] other industry is still trying to figure out AI. The trades are about to lead from the front. Service Titan, the AI for the trades. Learn more at servicetitan.ai. This episode is brought to you by Tecovas. All right, guys, if you want boots that are made right, you got to check out Tecovas. Their Western boots are sturdy and clearly built to last, but really sharp and premium too. You [38:09] and great boots for those summer concerts, weddings, work events, whatever. And they're versatile, too. You can wear them with jeans, dress them up or down, whatever you need. Tacovus has all the classic leathers like cowhide and goat, but they've got all the exotics, too, for when you want to level up your look.

[38:30] If you've been thinking about your next pair of boots or, hey, even your first pair, go check out Tecovas in-store or online at tecovas.com. That's T-E-C-O-V-A-S dot com. And right now, get 10% off at tecovas.com slash Rogan when you sign up for email and texts. [38:54] Let's give him a round of applause. Oh man, that's such emotion. [39:03] Wait, wait, I'm talking. [39:06] So. [39:07] - Got his flag on his back. [39:10] Look. [39:12] If you knew my story, you would understand the passion. [39:15] I ain't no s***. I met your boxer from five years old. That was an elite prospect from my youth, bro. I was going to jail. [39:22] I see some hypothetical use of red in jail [39:25] I got bail and I started training because if I got sentence, I wanted to be able to fight. [39:30] I bust my case. [39:32] But how does it bang go? Where's he at? [39:34] G14, raise your hand. [39:36] I'm stealing this, Usox. Oh, I never saw this. [39:39] He might take a dive, bro. He's a wild motherfucker. [39:45] Tonight... [39:46] Maybe I could have done better. But it shows the levels of hard work you must have put in. [39:51] So please... [39:52] Give him a round of applause as our heavyweight champion of the world. [39:56] It's a little odd. He's still going.

[40:01] You know, you just kind of fight. [40:03] I used to cry whenever I got in a fight. So I can't judge anyone. I would have given this. Dudes give that speech every time they lose a street fight. [40:14] Every single time, they stand up, they go, let's get a beer together, dude. This guy's a fucking man. You know? Right, a little bit. Yeah. But... [40:21] It is a little weird. It's definitely weird. But there's some dudes that just once they get the mic, they just want to start talking. I hear you. You know? Yeah. There are dudes. For sure. There's some dudes that I have to interview in the UFC, and the UFC is like, last question. Stop. No more questions. We've got to cut – because they've got to cut to commercial. I like those, though. [40:40] I like when the guy grabs the mic and just starts screaming. Some of them are great. Some of them are great. But I get it. Chael Sonnen fucking mastered it. Yeah. He was the first guy. He was the first guy to figure it out. [40:50] He's the first guy to figure out how to cut like a pro wrestling type promo. [40:54] inside the cage. Like, Anderson Silva, you absolutely suck! And everybody's like, what is going on here? He's the greatest of all time. He's so funny. [41:05] Yeah, Chael was awesome. Who's funnier than him? [41:09] McGregor was really funny. [41:12] McGregor took shit talking to a whole new level. Yes. [41:15] But I feel like Chael was. But Chael opened the fucking door. Yeah. He's the OG. He's the OG of MMA shit talking for sure. And still like the most clever at it. [41:25] You know, he's very clever. Yeah, the fucking Brazilians thinking a bus was a horse. He's so fucking funny. He said he tried to feed it a carrot. It's like a good bit, dude.

[41:39] He's quite a character, man. He's quite a fucking character. Yeah, McGregor's shit talk. Yeah, who the fuck is that guy? His current shit talk's my favorite. [41:48] I love what he's up to. [41:50] Fucking idiot. Top toro. Bop, bop, bop, bop. Do you think he's going to fight the big of them? He keeps talking about... [41:58] Making it to the White House. [42:00] I hope he gets to the White House. I'm going to do my best to go to that point. I hope he does that and that's it. [42:06] I'm not saying anything. And the Michael Chandler one is a good one. That's a smart one. That'd be a fun one. It's a marketable one because everybody knows they were supposed to fight years ago and they did the Ultimate Fighter together. [42:16] And also Chandler's still fucking dangerous as shit. He's not washed. Not at all. He's not in his prime, but he's like 38 or 39 years old now. He'll go wild in that fight. He's a dangerous guy. He's crazy fit, too. And he loves America, dude. Get him in front of the fucking White House. Oh, yeah. He's going to cry after the fight. Oh, he'll cry. Yeah, look at the nuts. [42:34] And he will do everything within his power to try to beat Conor. Yeah, I'm going to not say anything bad about Trump until that fight. I need to be at that fight. Then I'm going to go, yo, that fucking bullshit tweet, that sucks. Bro, look what Mamdani called him a fascist, and he had him in the Oval Office. Did you see that? True. And he's like, you said Donald Trump. He's like, it's okay, just go ahead and say it. Bro, I hate to get on Trump stuff, but have you seen the plaques? [43:02] No, I heard about it. Yeah. [43:05] So his plaque's under everybody's name? He's kind of trashing every other president. And what is he? He trashes them all? He – the Clinton one I read –

[43:17] He talks about Andrew Jackson. I saw the Andrew Jackson and Clinton ones. [43:21] The Clinton one is, like, basically, like, he kind of got lucky with the economy because of the fucking tech boom. Also, then, at the end, he's like, and then his wife tried to run against Donald Trump and lost. Like... [43:31] That's a plaque? [43:35] Let's see. [43:36] Clinton's wife Hillary lost the presidency. [43:40] Huh. Does it really say he got lucky? Like who's writing these things? [43:44] He's not writing. Sleepy Joe Biden. Sleepy Joe Biden. It says that? By far the worst president of the American history. Oh, my God. He is writing it. [43:53] Oh, no, no, let me read it from the top. This is so crazy. [43:57] This is... [43:58] that this is underneath... [44:00] A photo in the White House is so crazy. [44:06] Look at this. Sleepy Joe Biden was by far the worst president in American history. He's so crazy. Taking office as a result of the most corrupt election ever seen in the United States, Biden oversaw a series of unprecedented disasters. What's the matter, Jamie? Elections capitalize? Weird. Yeah, it is weird. [44:25] Unprecedented disasters that brought our nation to the brink of destruction. [44:36] years, his Green News scam surrendered American energy dominance, and by abolishing the southern border, Biden let 21 million people from all over the world pour into the United States, including from prisons, jails, mental institutions, and insane asylums. Isn't that like he said two things that are the same thing? Jails, prisons, insane asylums.

[45:03] His Afghanistan disaster was amongst the most humiliating events in American history and resulted in the murder of 13 brave American service members, which many other... [45:14] Many others gravely wounded. [45:16] Seeing with many others gravely mooned, what's wrong with me? Seeing Biden's devastating weakness, Russia invaded Ukraine and Hamas terrorists launched their heinous October 7th attack on Israel. This is crazy. Nicknamed both sleepy and crooked by you. [45:36] Nicknamed like the whole public got together. I got a name for this guy. Was dominated by his radical left handlers. Look how radical left is in caps too. [45:46] They and their allies in the fake news media attempted to cover up his severe mental decline in [45:53] An unprecedented use of auto pen. [45:58] This is so crazy. You shouldn't be allowed to do this, right? It should be like historians – [46:04] Say this guy was president from... Oh, wait. What's it say at the end of that? Does it say Donald Trump saved America? [46:11] Despite all, President Trump would get reelected in a landslide and SAVE AMERICA, in all caps. [46:18] That's a plaque in the White House. He's not beating the dictator charges. This is like an African dictator. This is crazy. I think they're changing the name of the Kennedy Center to the Trump Kennedy Center. Oh, boy. [46:33] somebody needs to tell him like hey

[46:39] This is not good. [46:41] You can't do that. [46:43] because then other people could do that too. And then the White House stops being the White House and it becomes whoever is in its house where he could just go crazy and say everybody else is a crook. I don't think anyone's going to do what he's doing. [46:55] I don't think there's – I mean, look, of course. I hope not, but it opens up – the problem is it opens up the door for someone on the left to do their version of it. [47:04] Who's going to be the Democrat... [47:06] Who's next? Fucking Gavin Newsom? He's not going to fucking put up a plaque. Of course he would. Of course he would. He copies everything that Trump does. He even tries to talk like Trump on Twitter. You don't think that he would put up plaques that talk about how corrupt Trump was and about how terrible and he was quoted as lying over 5,000 times by Washington Post. Yeah, but he doesn't have to put up a plaque. That'll just be... [47:27] Everywhere. [47:29] I mean, but he could put that under his photo, though. Like, that's never been a thing that people did before. [47:33] For sure. Right? Right? [47:35] I mean, I'm guessing. What was it before? [47:40] Ronald Reagan was a fan of President Trump's long before his historic run for the White House. [47:45] that's so disturbing that's such crazy what fucking lackey put that shit up and was like do you like this [47:58] Of course he's going to fucking like it. [47:59] Bro, he broed it. What are you talking about? You don't think he wrote it? You think a lackey wrote it? [48:04] I don't fucking find out. I don't know what's going on. Whoever's writing his tweets wrote that.

[48:10] Yeah. [48:11] Same shit. He's got to be writing his tweets. [48:14] I think they made a video of it, right? Yeah. So the video is like he says things and someone types it out for him. [48:21] He fucked up on Twitter this week. [48:24] What, with the Rob Reiner thing? Yeah. Yeah, that's crazy. [48:27] It's all crazy. So if he didn't do the Rob Reiner thing and then put up those plaques, I'd be like, yeah, that's funny. [48:33] But then the Rob Ryan thing, you're like, God damn it, dude. Well, the plaques are crazy. The plaques are crazy. The plaques are crazy. It's like you're... [48:42] The White House is supposed to be [48:44] Thank you. [48:45] where each new president, the new guy comes in, you won the new election, congratulations, let me show you around – [48:54] This is what it's like. These are all the photos. What's funny? Another good one. I think that's the photo for Joe Biden. [49:02] It's an auto pen? Yeah. [49:04] Thank you. [49:04] Okay. [49:07] That's so crazy. That's so crazy. But again, it's still funny. [49:12] When he does crazy shit and it's funny, I like it. Right. [49:16] I don't love that. But the Rob Reiner thing is not funny, right? No. And that's like the same thing. [49:22] It's the same kind of thinking. But when you see it with no empathy, that's when it's hard to like. Yeah. I wish he could apologize. [49:30] I know you can't and you won't. Listen, there's no justification for what he did that makes any sense in a compassionate society. It's no different than people that were celebrating when Charlie Kirk got shot.

[49:41] That's the thing that bothers me. It's the same kind of thing. It would be like if Obama tweeted... [49:46] Yeah. Yeah. Rest in piss. Imagine. Oh, my God. Imagine. Imagine if Obama tweeted, you know, something about someone, you know, after they died. [49:54] in this way, that this person was a deranged person that hated Obama and he wrote Obama like all caps. [50:04] Imagine if Obama talked like Trump. Do you imagine if Obama talked like Trump? They hated Obama. [50:11] If that was his thing, he talks about himself in third person. That would be crazy. [50:17] It just shows you how crazy it is the way Trump thinks and talks. [50:20] Yeah. [50:21] It's just like... [50:23] The guy got sliced up by his kid. [50:27] Anybody that doesn't see that and go, fuck, man. [50:31] Yeah, it's the worst. [50:32] Also, the kid's claiming not guilty right now. [50:35] Oh, Carl. Okay. I like it. By reason of what? I like the mood. Oh, boy. [50:41] It's so dark, man. Yeah, it's really fucking horrendous. But on the other side of it... [50:48] The Rob Reiner thing was crazy because Rob Reiner made it a mission to try to get Trump out of office and to try to get Trump arrested. [51:02] John Brennan and James Clapper. [51:05] These two top dog spooks. Yeah. And they're talking about how this is like unacceptable that Trump is president. I'm like, this is a crazy thing to and like high production value. Yeah. So it's like all filmed together. They're coming up with reasons why they have to remove Trump from office.

[51:22] Maybe they knew something. All that sucked. [51:26] I think that sucked. Yeah. But then, dude, you get murdered next to your wife by your son. Horrible. Yeah. That's like the worst thing possible. The worst thing. The president. [51:36] Right. It's a crazy thing to put out. By the time this episode comes out, we'll have moved on. Yeah, but it seems like – [51:43] You know... [51:46] It seems like. [51:47] Whenever something like that happens where someone is happy that someone died, so many people just – you feel so disappointed. [51:57] You know, you just feel like it's so disappointing. Yeah. Yeah. [52:01] It's like why – if you say that privately, that's one thing, which is also crazy. Yeah. But it's so disappointing. [52:09] I mean, someone would have to be the worst person ever. And then you're like, you know what? Fuck that guy. [52:16] Jesus. Yes. And the way it happened, too. Like, yo... [52:22] The way it happened makes it ten times worse. Oh, God. [52:26] If he died in a funny way... Right. [52:32] You know? Right, right, right. Then it would be... If he was like, I'm going to fucking... [52:37] A parachute out of a plane. Right. There you go. Something stupid. Oh, he's bungee jumping. He lied about his weight. But then... Snap. Then the worst possible way to die. The worst possible way to die. [52:49] I mean, your own child. And he did, before all the political shit, he did rule. Oh, he had amazing movies, man. He fucking ruled. Guy made amazing movies. He ruled. I mean, let's bring up Rob Reiner's filmography. How many great... He wanted to come on the podcast.

[53:05] and talk about JFK. [53:06] That would have been sick. Yeah. [53:09] Um. [53:11] I don't know why that never happened. [53:14] What films did he do? [53:16] I don't think Spiral Top might have been the first one, but... [53:19] Princess Bride, Stand By Me. Okay, Stand By Me and Princess Bride, two of the greatest movies of all time. Wait, he made a few good men? Bro, Misery? He did Misery? Fucking amazing movie. [53:31] Was he a producer on A Few Good Men? Let me make some directors. We went to one because he did a lot of stuff, too. He's been in movies. [53:40] directed them [53:42] So here you go, like writer, predictor, [53:44] Or, sorry, producer, writer, director, different than all of it. He did direct a few main. Yeah. Yeah, dude. He made some bangers. When Harry Met Sally... [53:54] He was a dad wolf of Wall Street. [53:56] He was hilarious in that. Oh, yeah, that's right. I forgot about that. [54:01] Spinal Tap was supposed to come out. I think I read they put that on hold right now. [54:07] Yeah, horrendous. [54:09] That's like... Don't put anything out. Someone take his fucking phone. Yeah. There are certain things the administration does... [54:17] that I'm just like, damn, you can't defend it. Like the – I don't think it's the administration necessarily, but they've definitely allowed it to happen where, like – [54:26] fucking ice is making funny videos about deporting people yeah and then like like shit like this it's like damn dude that's fucking terrible they use theo yeah

[54:35] They used Theo in a totally unrelated clip that, like, some lady said, my friend has to leave the country. Will you make a video? I heard you got reported. I mean, I knew that video existed before. I'm the one editing the DHS. [54:52] It's just Theo being funny. And they use that in this ice thing. And Theo's like, whoa. And he had a really good response, too. He got them to take it down. But his response... [55:03] See if you can find it. [55:04] something that his opinions on immigration are much more nuanced. I mean, that's the truth, though. It's like, yeah, sure, illegal immigration is... [55:14] We should... [55:14] Fix that. Yeah. [55:16] Don't fucking make it funny. It's a serious thing. It's a serious thing you're doing. Yeah. Why would you make it funny at all? Yeah. Like, is the thought, like, that that'll make it popular on TikTok and it'll spread that way? Is that the thought? That it'll be a video will get people to want to sign up for it? I think a lot of those people are obviously just weird fucking psychos that are in that world. I don't know. I heard something that I don't know if it's true. [55:41] Thank you. [55:41] It was about the Brown shooting, the Brown University shooting, and it's people claiming that – [55:51] the security cameras had been disabled. [55:56] Yes. I was trying to get Dio's tweet. Here's just the quote of what it said. Yo, this is what he says. DHS, I didn't approve to be used in this. I know you know my address, so send a check. And please take this down and please keep me out of your banger deportation videos, Vaughn said on his ex-account. When it comes to immigration, my thoughts and heart are a lot more nuanced than this video allows. Bye.

[56:18] Vaughn added. [56:20] Perfect response. Calling them banger videos is hilarious. Yeah, they're ridiculous. Yeah, they suck. They suck. It's like, why are you doing that? I thought you were trying to get rid of the worst people in the world. You're not trying to be entertaining. [56:31] Like the job is to get rid of the worst people in the world. Like, but... [56:35] that's what we wanted. We wanted them to get rid of cartel members and terrorists, the worst people in the world. That's who we were hoping for. But then it's like, [56:45] Anybody. [56:46] I bet they have quotas. [56:48] I bet they're told. Without a doubt. I bet they do. Without a doubt. Whenever you give a quota to enforcing a law, you get into weird territory. That's when cops pull people over for bullshit. Yeah. That's how most of my buddies got DUIs. [57:03] The cops needed a quota. All my friends. They just took a chance. Me and Jamie were just talking about that. How... [57:09] Just our hometown. [57:11] I just miss it. [57:12] Yeah. I was built. That's what I was built for. Hometowns. [57:15] Nine to five and then go to a bar. [57:18] That's what you built for us? Did you miss those days? I miss it a lot. Really? I miss going to the bar. Just for fun. Just sitting there. Just hanging out. Bro, we could have beat Lancaster Catholic. That was fucking crazy. We lost that fucking... That's what I'm going to talk about when I get home. That's funny. For Christmas. Yeah. [57:34] Asvon, you look forward to that? [57:36] I do. [57:37] Shit rules. High school buddies? They all have families now? Yeah. [57:42] And it's nice, especially when your friends get families, it's nice to go out with them. [57:47] when you see them get that one night off

[57:49] You go, oh, this guy's about to fucking black out. This is going to be crazy. [57:55] I have friends come to shows and just fall apart. That's hilarious. That's so funny. Yeah, no, sorry about derailing it from that. [58:04] Actual conversation. [58:05] No, it's okay. I don't even remember what we were talking about. You were talking about security cameras. Oh, yeah. The Brown University thing. Yeah. [58:11] Now, why did they have the security cameras? Why were they disabled? Why? [58:15] Because I don't even want to say what I read. The thing online was saying, yeah, it was ICE. Yeah. Because they wanted to stop ICE from using the feed to locate illegals. [58:26] that are working on the campus maybe? [58:28] or maybe citizens that are – or students, rather. Yeah. That are – [58:33] Because they've done some wild shit. I don't know if they wind up deporting that lady, but they were trying to deport that lady because she was a student and she wrote a… [58:43] an essay that was critical of Israel. Yeah. [58:46] response from their officials I guess. Called on lack of CC. And they want to know how a school with a $9 billion endowment [58:55] does not have cameras on one of the older buildings at the edge of the campus where this happened. Not even in the front door. [59:03] Who's coming and going? [59:05] Now they ask this question knowing [59:08] that [59:08] A shooter may have done whatever he wanted. [59:10] But the cameras A would have deterred, or B [59:14] captured a better look at them and we wouldn't be here today five days out. [59:18] How many are you? [59:19] explain that because there's a lot of parents who are wondering

[59:21] Where are you investing your money? [59:23] The President: Yeah, I appreciate that question. And I want to reiterate, as our President did, that supporting our students and communicating to the parents, to our community about our support. [59:33] is of most importance. We have 1,200 [59:36] cameras located throughout the campus. [59:39] We don't publish the locations of the cameras. [59:42] That would give a map to somebody to evade detection on the cameras. So that would be counterproductive to do that. There are cameras in this building. And as I answered the previous question, we have turned over all evidence that we are holding at Brown to law enforcement and are cooperating fully with them. [59:58] So you're saying that there's cameras in the building. I was told yesterday there wasn't cameras in the building. The Attorney General said, [1:00:04] I'm on camera right now, you fucker. [1:00:08] I believe he said that there were two different phases of the building that might have two different levels of technology. [1:00:14] Again, [1:00:15] all video imagery has been turned over to law enforcement. [1:00:18] That doesn't make sense. I may have both of them just want to say that. [1:00:21] Okay, this is contradictory to what I read. What I read was that somebody had disabled them. [1:00:28] So he was saying there is cameras and they turned over all footage. There's got to be cameras. The thing is like when you hear a story like they disabled it for ICE, like is that story total bullshit and is that story designed to get people to tweet that out so that other people start believing it? For sure. [1:00:44] Hmm. They were naming the fucking shooter. [1:00:47] I thought... [1:00:48] Did you see that? Yeah. No, before they got the Portuguese guy.

[1:00:53] Oh, really? They were naming a different shooter? [1:00:56] Oh, no. Yeah. Who's the different guy? I was all over it. I was going, this motherfucker, how dare you? Who was the different guy? It was a... [1:01:05] kid that was in like protests and shit like a Gaza kid. So they instantly named him and yeah, whatever. [1:01:13] So he's going to get paid. [1:01:15] He should. Oh, yeah. [1:01:17] He should. Remember the Atlanta one where the guy, they ruined his life and they said he was a bomber? [1:01:22] It was just a security guard. Oh, yeah. Remember that guy? Yeah, the movie. Yeah. Yeah. [1:01:27] Fuck his name. I forget his name, too. But I remember the real story. Paul Walter Hauser plays him in... [1:01:34] I hope I'm getting that name right. I know that guy. He's a man. [1:01:37] Richard Jewell. Richard Jewell. [1:01:40] Thank you. [1:01:40] I was there that day. [1:01:42] You were in Atlanta? Yeah, I was there. That's crazy. That's crazy. Dude, what? Yeah, when we were headed home, the only reason we weren't there when it went off was because we couldn't get scalp tickets to watch the Dream Team play. The guy, we were trying to buy them from, ripped them up in front of my dad and just threw them in the fucking sewer. We're like, what? Yo. Who does that? You are Ohio trash. You went to the Olympics to scalp Dream Team tickets. No, we went to other stuff, but we didn't have tickets to that game, so I didn't know [1:02:07] We were like, let's find tickets to the game. What else did you see? Like a volleyball game and a baseball game. Girls are guys. Richard Jewell, right? Yeah, Richard Jewell. I just sent you this thing. Yeah, I found a thing on Twitter about it. It says there was like an open letter in August that anti-ICE protesters wanted...

[1:02:24] The camera is disabled, but I didn't see that it actually happened. [1:02:29] Bro. [1:02:30] it's all weird I've kind of checked out [1:02:37] Let me hear this. Oh. Human Rights Group to Univer... [1:02:42] Human rights group to university administrators dismantle surveillance to defend free speech now. [1:02:48] I don't know if they did it. [1:02:49] What does that mean? [1:02:52] David. [1:02:53] sanctuary city law that we have. [1:02:56] You don't want to recall illegal immigrants. [1:02:58] And you don't want to provide the footage to the FBI [1:03:01] or immigration authority. [1:03:03] One camera and that will be with them. He comes with your detectives. They are friends of mine. They're angry at this investigation. [1:03:09] If these people are unraveling the varsity, [1:03:11] Put the camera off. They can identify that person. [1:03:14] You imagine how the famine is going to go through? Tell me to the media here. [1:03:19] the brown police chief [1:03:23] Thank you. [1:03:24] Isn't that where that girl got? [1:03:26] taken for writing the letter. [1:03:28] Right when this all started. [1:03:30] Wasn't she a Brown student or something? [1:03:32] I thought it was Columbia. I don't remember though. [1:03:35] I don't remember though. See if you can find that story because that story is also fucking crazy. [1:03:41] Like you're deporting a student for having an opinion about a world war. [1:03:44] It's a war that's happening, right? At least from one side of it. [1:03:49] Like having an opinion is a problem that gets you ejected from the country, especially you're at a university, which is supposed to be a place where ideas get challenged. Yeah.

[1:04:00] Yeah, it turns out [1:04:01] Both sides are totally hypocritical and doing exactly what the other side did. It's interesting because – [1:04:09] We're getting to see it more clearly – [1:04:14] than we've ever seen it before, right? [1:04:16] Yeah. [1:04:17] It seems like it. [1:04:18] Tufts University. Tufts. [1:04:22] Arrested and detained by ICE agents in Somerville, Massachusetts. What did she say? She wrote something in the newspaper, I think. [1:04:31] like the school newspaper. [1:04:32] Right. An op-ed. [1:04:34] But what was it? Let's see if we can read it. [1:04:39] I wonder what got her deported. [1:04:43] What were the words? [1:04:54] Months after the op-ed was written and just weeks before she was detained, the website Canary Mission published a profile on Miss – I don't know how to say her name – [1:05:03] including her photograph claiming she engaged in anti-israel activism its sole support for the contention was a link in screenshots of her op-ed when asked about her case secretary of state marco rubio confirmed revoking her visa adding we gave you a visa to come and study and get a degree not to become a social activist that tears up our university campuses [1:05:26] Shut up, Marco. So she was asking... Put that up again, please. So she was asking...

[1:05:33] She was criticizing Tufts leadership's response to the Tufts Community Union Senate passing several resolutions. So she must be a part of the Tufts Community Union Senate. [1:05:45] or someone is, [1:05:47] So they passed several resolutions concerning human rights violations. [1:05:51] So, like, what is... [1:05:53] But like, what was she? I want to know what she actually said. [1:05:57] You know what I mean? [1:05:59] I mean, we're getting a synopsis of what her actual... [1:06:03] Op-ed was see if you can find it. It's just interesting because like what what can get you kicked out of a country that is the most pro free speech country on planet Earth? Like what gets you kicked out? Is it really is it right? But is it only that one? Is it only that one? Like what if you had an opinion on Ukraine and Russia? [1:06:23] Without get you kicked out? I doubt it. [1:06:26] That's weird, right? [1:06:27] It certainly is. That's kind of weird. It's a little strange. Are you noticing? Give me two more beers. I'll let you know. I'll let you know my algorithm's been feeding me. [1:06:38] It's kind of crazy because – [1:06:40] Unless someone is outright calling for violence or revolution or to ignore the laws or ignore the rules, they're just having an opinion on violence. [1:06:54] a gigantic international conflict. That seems crazy to want to kick him out of the country. [1:07:00] Thank you. [1:07:01] Unless there's something more that I don't know.

[1:07:04] Yeah, maybe she must have said something you would think pretty crazy. [1:07:07] But I bet you she didn't. Yeah, she might not. But I will say. [1:07:12] I thought it was a wild ass statement. Oh, this is so long. [1:07:18] Try again, President Kumar, renewing calls for Tufts to adopt March 4th TCU Senate resolutions. [1:07:26] Hmm. [1:07:29] University's response is wholly inadequate and dismissive of the Senate, the collective voice of the student body. Why? First of all, why would Tufts? [1:07:39] be, um, [1:07:42] doing anything about what's happening in Gaza and what could they really do? [1:07:46] You know what I'm saying? Yeah, man. Yeah. Like, what could they really do? [1:07:52] I don't know. They might stop it. Investments and divesting from companies and direct ties to Israel is what they were talking about. Right. But the problem is, aren't those companies, Israel's not a communist dictatorship. So those companies that you're not going to invest in, they're just citizens of Israel, like you're citizens of America. [1:08:12] You know what I mean? It's like there's a lot of people that were protesting Netanyahu before October 7th. It's like not everybody agrees with everybody. It's not like Israel is a monoculture that only has like one... [1:08:22] thing that they think. There's a lot of people over there that don't like their [1:08:26] their government. So like to ban their business and not use their business, like what? [1:08:33] Fuck if I know. I don't know. What does that do? It puts pressure on them to vote differently, I guess. Yeah.

[1:08:39] Yeah, where was she from? But again, isn't that – [1:08:44] That's just an opinion. [1:08:46] It's an opinion. It didn't even I don't think she even said anything that wild in there. No. Is that what the fuck is she got kicked out? There's probably a lot more to it. But just one of three or four authors of this paper. Even that's one of those things where, like, you got to be able to talk about shit like that. And if you can talk about shit like that, if you're from Ohio and they're not going to send you out of the country somewhere. [1:09:08] This episode is brought to you by SimpliSafe. One thing you probably don't think about when you're planning the perfect summer getaway is protecting your home. [1:09:16] If disaster strikes, you want to be prepared, even better if it can be stopped before it happens. So check out SimpliSafe. They're the smarter option when it comes to home security because their systems help prevent and stop crime in real time before it starts. There's also no long-term contracts and no technician appointments. You can get a custom system and set it up in one afternoon by yourself or even sooner. [1:09:46] and use SimpliSafe. Everyone deserves to have peace of mind, which is why I'm happy to partner with SimpliSafe again and offer an exclusive discount. Right now, you can get 50% off your new system by visiting simplisafe.com slash rogan. That's half off at simplisafe.com slash rogan. There's no safe like SimpliSafe. [1:10:08] This episode is brought to you by Blue Chew, the number one brand for better sex. Blue Chew just dropped something crazy. Blue Chew Gold. Blue Chew has made it easy for 5 million men to get hard, but now they've made it easier to get horny too. Blue Chew Gold gets your brain and body on the same page fast. Other options just help blood flow, but gold combines

[1:10:38] and two, boost arousal and intimacy. So for a good time, go to BlueChew.com. And we've got a special deal for our listeners right now. When you buy two months of Blue Chew Gold, you get the third free with promo code ROGAN. You also receive an additional 10% off plus free overnight shipping on your first order. Visit BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information. Blue Chew is number one for a reason. [1:11:08] You know what I'm saying? Why can't you talk about it if you're from another country? I feel like once you are in America legally, [1:11:17] Shouldn't we treat you like a fucking American? [1:11:20] Other than you being able to vote yet, [1:11:24] But once you're here legally, we've agreed. They can vote. They can vote. It turns out they can. They're getting some votes in. They're getting a fucking ton of votes. It's not zero. It's not zero. Anybody who says it's zero is fucking lying. Yep. [1:11:37] Did you see that most most recent thing about the Georgia elections? [1:11:41] No. Oh, it's kind of crazy. I told you, I checked out, dude. I'm watching fighter jet highlight videos on my phone. You're better off that way. You're better off checking out. I'm waiting for the college football playoffs. Yeah. Patiently. [1:11:53] They found a ton of – [1:11:57] Well, I don't want to put it [1:11:59] Let me pause for a second when I find this. [1:12:01] I got this. [1:12:02] You got it? [1:12:05] I don't know either. I'm not paying attention to this. [1:12:08] It's found votes. Well, they were they were saying it's that three hundred and fifteen thousand early votes lack the poll workers signatures.

[1:12:17] We don't dispute the allegation. [1:12:20] Right. [1:12:20] So if that's true, [1:12:22] They admit that 315,000 votes lacked poll worker signatures. [1:12:27] and they were counted in 2020. I don't think that's legal. [1:12:32] Let's put that into perplexity. Is that legal? [1:12:36] If that's true, is that legal? And should those votes have counted? Because here's where it gets crazy. Trump lost to Biden in Georgia by... [1:12:46] I think it was 11,000 votes. Yeah, I read, though, that they'd already done a hand count of these votes since – because this has been disputed for the last five years. [1:12:54] you know [1:12:55] So what does that mean? [1:12:56] They did a hand count of the votes. The thing is, it doesn't have the poll signature, right? [1:13:00] I'm just saying that's separate from the polls. I don't even know what that means. But what the accusation, at least, is that 315,000 lacked... [1:13:10] So put the tweet up again so we can read the accusation. [1:13:14] It says 315,000 early votes that lacked poll worker signatures. [1:13:22] So – [1:13:23] A poll worker is supposed to sign every one of them, right? [1:13:27] I was trying to read into what this means. There's something like each day when they use the machine, they have to zero out the machine to make sure it's starting at zero. And then at the end of the day, you've got to sign off on what it says. Someone counted them or something like that. And they don't have evidence. [1:13:43] because there wasn't anything being signed that just even started at zero. They could have had their sample data.

[1:13:48] tally still on there from their practicing the machines to make sure they counted right. There's a lot of discrepancies on what that could have meant. [1:13:54] I think it's a chain of... [1:13:56] custody issue. I don't know, again, what that means specifically. Right. So it could mean many things. And one of the things that it could mean is that 315,000 early votes were bullshit. [1:14:09] They also don't know who voted for who in those 315,000 votes. Right. I bet if we tallied those up. [1:14:18] That's right. I think I was reading into these tweets. Some people were like, this is nonsense because they've already gone back and counted them all. [1:14:24] People are fighting with those people. The problem is when you ask Trump about it, like when I had him on the podcast, I'm like, you think they stole the 2020 election? Tell me what's the evidence. [1:14:34] He didn't. Well, he might not have remembered. He might have just said, tell me what they did and had somebody work on it. And then they told him and then he starts talking about it, but he didn't really go in depth about it. [1:14:46] I don't know, but he didn't have a satisfactory answer. No, he didn't. I was hoping he did. I was hoping he did, too. [1:14:53] I was hoping that he would have said they stole it through... [1:14:58] Like propaganda and shit. [1:14:59] Or like what happened in those years. Certainly. And instead it was just down to like he thought voter fraud and like. Yeah. [1:15:08] Which I'm sure there was some, but it was like you could have had an argument with what happened in 2020 and leading up to it. Yeah. You could definitely have a thing where you see the FBI and the Twitter files and all that shit with the Hunter Biden laptop story. Yeah, but he didn't even bring that up. Yeah, he should have brought that up.

[1:15:26] Georgia officials and complaints agree that failing to obtain required poll worker signatures on the tabulator tapes for roughly 315,000 early ballots in Fulton County was a violation of Georgia election procedure law, i.e. it was not done in compliance with the statute. [1:15:44] That does not automatically mean individual voters did anything wrong or that their ballots are criminally illegal, but it does mean the county certification process for those votes did not follow the state legal requirements. [1:15:57] Thank you. [1:15:59] So... [1:16:00] Those are not supposed to have been counted. Is that what they're saying? [1:16:04] Because it didn't follow the requirements. [1:16:07] that's [1:16:08] That's what they're saying. [1:16:10] So it says poll workers must also print and sign zero tapes at the start of voting to show machines begin at zero. And these signed tapes serve as the official certification that reported totals from the scanner are authentic. [1:16:28] That's what they require. [1:16:29] So they require people to do that. So maybe someone didn't do that. [1:16:34] what they were required. [1:16:35] That's a possibility. I think 36 did. [1:16:39] 36 of 37 advanced voting precincts in Fulton County had failed to sign the tabulation tapes, including that the county violated official election record document processes required by statute. [1:16:54] The ones, the voting precincts put this in.

[1:16:58] that failed to sign the tabulation tapes, were they predominantly Republican or Democrat? [1:17:07] Just Google Fulton County. [1:17:09] Click images. [1:17:11] I think you know. [1:17:14] What do you think? I don't know. [1:17:18] Well, I mean, if the Republicans are complaining about it, it's obviously a Democrat. Right. [1:17:22] for sure [1:17:34] predominantly it was close. Here we go. That's how I would have spelled it. That's how I would have spelled it. I thought it was right. I can't believe anything's wrong there. I thought it was right. [1:17:42] I wonder if AI would have figured it out. It would have. If complexity would have... Yeah, yeah, yeah. [1:17:47] Specific 36 to 37 advanced voting locations with unsigned tapes are not publicly broken out by party, but Fulton County as a whole is strongly Democratic. [1:17:56] And its advanced early vote totals in 2020 were overwhelmingly Democratic. [1:18:02] In other words, those affected... [1:18:05] Advanced voting sites would be expected to be predominantly Democrat in their results, not Republican. [1:18:11] Weird that 36 out of 37 that have unsigned tapes are strong... [1:18:18] democratic, and that [1:18:20] There's 315,000 votes that aren't supposed to be... [1:18:25] There. [1:18:26] They didn't sign. [1:18:28] But it's okay.

[1:18:29] Don't worry about it. We just forgot to tally. Fuck it. We forgot the tally. Whoopsies. We were so busy making sure we saved democracy that we forgot the tally. They saved it. It was a fucking good four years. What a great move, though. If they really did steal the election, like, wow. Is that the first time anyone's ever done it? I don't know if they did it. I'm not saying they did it, but I'm saying if they did do it. What a great movie that would be. There's no way. That's the first one. A bunch of fucking pink-haired dorks who really do hijack the system. [1:18:59] Good for them. In the fucking back rooms, like, licking envelopes and sealing mail-in ballots. Hey, Chad, I don't... I asked... [1:19:08] the thing I read and it says they're both hand counted and fully audited [1:19:11] Thank you. [1:19:13] After the fact. I asked if after they had found a problem certification. [1:19:16] and it says that they did. [1:19:18] Hand counted and fully audited after the fact. [1:19:23] There's no way the people that... [1:19:25] Thank you. [1:19:26] Didn't sign are the ones making sure to tell everyone it was hand counted, right? It says hand counted, but then recounted by machine. And those process included Fulton, even though the later issue about unsigned early voting tapes was not corrected by a new post 2024 hand count. [1:19:44] Wait a minute. What does that mean? Was... [1:19:47] The issue about unsigned early voting tapes was not corrected. [1:19:52] by a new post 2024 hand count. [1:19:55] Hmm. [1:19:57] This is a weird...

[1:20:00] I don't know what any of this stuff means, to be honest with you. Yeah, what does that mean? That's what's confusing. Was there 315 weird votes or not? Because that is the main, like, right-wing... I bet if you went on Truth Social and asked them, how did they steal the election, they'd fucking... [1:20:17] I bet you can't get banned from True Social, right? You probably can't get banned. Yeah. [1:20:20] Maybe you say something liberal. You'd have to say it, but you'd have to be a crazy liberal. Where if you said, I believe that there's two genders on Blue Sky, you're dunsies. Are you? Instant. Gone. See ya. [1:20:32] Blue Ski's nuts. Bro, they go crazy. Do you know what McCann told us? I do. I do know what he told us. I don't know how true that is. Yeah, we should find out right now. Yeah, let's find out. So McCann says that they created a ban in Australia on social media for kids under 16. [1:20:51] that this ban includes Instagram and TikTok, but does not include Blue Sky. [1:20:58] Thank you. [1:21:00] If that's true, that is crazy. Up until 16 years old, the only way you get to communicate is the most radically leftist site available. Right. [1:21:14] Thank you. [1:21:15] In Blue Sky, I saw this lady – one guy rather – said, I'm trying to be zen about it, like something happened to him. I'm trying to be zen about it. And then this other guy underneath it chimes in, it would be great if you would stop being racist to Asians. [1:21:29] Maybe he was being funny. No, no, no.

[1:21:34] There's no humor over there. There's no humor. It is a fucking SSRI soup. There's no humor over there. There's no humor. [1:21:45] I fuck with Blueski. I got to get on there. I thought it was Blueski for so long. Call it Blueski. I've had a lot of people get to call it that now. Blueski's nice. They'll ban the fuck out of you. [1:21:56] The law's initial list of restricted platforms includes Facebook, Instagram, X, TikTok, YouTube, Snapchat, Reddit, Threads, Kik, and Twitch. Other platforms including StreamRub.com. [1:22:06] Steam, Blue Sky, WhatsApp, and YouTube Kids were considered but not included in the ban. So that's true. So Blue Sky, which is just Twitter but for super hardcore lefties – [1:22:18] Is... [1:22:19] Not included in the band. Did they ban True Social? [1:22:24] Amen. [1:22:24] Doesn't seem like they did. Yeah, find out. Put that into perplexity. Find out if the Australian ban includes Truth Social. They're banning Trump's tweets. Imagine if you get on Truth Social when you're 13, you get buck wild, but blueski's just like tanking kids. That's wild. Turning kids trans left and right. Reddit's available, so that's... [1:22:42] I thought it just said Reddit was not. I thought they said Reddit was one of the band. The link I just clicked said it could extend to Reddit, Twitch, and Roblox, even dating apps. But some people are bribing them. Let's be honest. Reddit is Roblox. People are bribing them. Reddit is a little – Yeah, this is – Reddit is left-leaning. Reddit is among the companies that has approached – [1:22:59] I think they need to have certain things on their websites, and those websites that are banned don't have those blocks of filters available. I tell you I tried to jack off on Reddit. Did I tell you that?

[1:23:13] Because they banned Pornhub here. [1:23:17] Oh, I see. So I was like, I heard people jack off on Reddit, and I try to avoid Reddit. [1:23:21] And then as soon as I opened it, first thing was like, Shane Gillis fucking sucks now. I was like, no. [1:23:29] No. I still got one off, but. [1:23:31] That was a tough one. [1:23:33] Thank you. [1:23:33] There's a lot of mean, angry people out there, Shane. [1:23:36] Yeah. [1:23:37] A lot of people are not happy in their life. For sure. [1:23:40] Thank you. [1:23:41] That is a... [1:23:42] The porn thing is a weird one, too, because kids know about VPNs. You're just keeping stupid kids from jerking off. [1:23:49] Thank you. [1:23:49] It's probably good. It's probably good. You want the stupid ones out of cum so they're not making dumb decisions. [1:23:58] You're making another good point. Yeah, you want them all dried out. [1:24:02] You sound like you're tweeting on Blueski, dude. All those stupid kids, you just want them jerking off as much as possible. You should have an IQ test to see if you could get porn, and that IQ test should be really making sure you're dumb. And if you're too smart, fuck you. Yeah, you don't need to. Like, if you pass it. You gotta go study. No, no, no. You go study. But if you hit, like, a 65. Jack off. They just go, go ahead, jack off. No, jack off. [1:24:25] Imagine that. That would be a way that would keep dumb people... [1:24:29] Like sedated? [1:24:31] Just give them as much more sedated. Maybe that's what they're doing. [1:24:34] to us, to all of us. [1:24:36] Just keep giving us live porn 24-7 anytime you want it. Hop on a website. [1:24:41] It's a good way to keep dumb people just –

[1:24:44] dried up out of jizz yeah the point being no motivation is pretty crazy used to you know it's a classic bit but you gotta used to it used to be an ordeal to get your hands on that yeah now it's just like i'll be watching a i was watching i was watching revolutionary war doc last night and in between i was just pause all right let's see what happened at ticonderoga [1:25:14] when they're alone. Yeah. Yeah. I'm watching Ken Burns Revolution. Right. Seahawks, Seahawks Rams just finished up. Classic game. Toss on some Revolutionary War. Started dragging a little. I said, fuck it, Paul's. [1:25:28] Jack off? [1:25:30] You know Benedict Arnold was the hero of Ticonderoga? Now you're actually interested in it and not distracted. Fully not distracted. Do you know John Lilly, the guy who invented the sensory deprivation tank? No, I don't. He was involved. He was cracking them off in there. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He definitely had a family. He was like, this is a chamber that no one can go in. He was jacking off, dude. Probably. [1:25:58] But more importantly, he also ran this research where they were working with dolphins. It was like he was a pioneer in interspecies communication. [1:26:06] So they were attempting to teach dolphins how to speak. And so this lady, I'm not bullshitting you. I know this lady is the dumbest idea. They're all academy. Yeah, this lady lived in a house that was like three feet high in water with a fucking dog. Yeah. And the thing was, they found out that she had to jack the coffin off. She didn't jack the dolphin off. The dolphin would not pay attention. I've heard this story. Yeah. So she would every day she would jack him off and they went, what? What?

[1:26:33] Cancel this fucking project. This lady's jacking off dolphins. I bet you by the 120th time jacking them off, he was like, oh, shit. [1:26:43] Holy fuck. The problem with dolphins is they don't have lips. [1:26:46] Right? So they make a totally different kind of sound. You can't get them to sound like a human. And these fucking idiots are like, hello. I swear. He's like. Yeah. He's like. Yeah. [1:27:00] I swear to God the Nazis were trying to get dogs to talk. Oh, I bet they were. Everyone's trying to get animals to talk. What do you got? What is it? [1:27:10] The whole documentary called The Dolphin House. Oh, about the place where this lady lived? Yeah. That's Lily. That's the guy. I hate to be this guy, but I would hit pause on that documentary and crack one off. [1:27:23] Fully. [1:27:26] I'd be disappointed in myself. See, this lady just lived with a fucking dolphin. [1:27:32] Where was this? Where were they? [1:27:35] Where was the house? [1:27:39] Damn. She just had to jack that dolphin off all the time. Bro, think if that was your wife, and then this documentary comes out later, and you're like... [1:27:46] What? What did you do? Also, again. I did research. I did scientific research. [1:27:52] You get off my back. [1:27:54] I was young and single, and we hadn't even met yet. I don't care. You didn't tell me. You jacked off dolphins. We were engaged, and you were jacking off dolphins for research. Depends how long you're married. You get all really testy.

[1:28:08] St. Thomas. [1:28:10] Okay. But the bummer thing is the dolphin doesn't want to be in that stupid little house. The dolphin wants to be out there swimming after a while. He did. [1:28:18] After he got a few pandies. Yeah, fuck that. [1:28:20] Right. That's the jackpot. Right. Put him in a house. He's in a fucking house. They're feeding him. He's getting jacked off. You want to hear a dark truth about dolphins? Female dolphins are very promiscuous. We should make sure this is true. Because I've been saying it for years. Or female dolphins sluts. And I think they think the theory is because when they have babies, it takes a long time for them to raise their baby and they won't breed forever. [1:28:46] while they're taking care of their babies. I think it's like several years. And so the males will kill babies of a female they haven't slept with. [1:28:56] Yes, so they can get him to fuck. They'll kill the baby of a female that they haven't slept with. So... [1:29:03] The females sleep with as many men as possible. [1:29:05] So that the dolphin doesn't know whether or not it's his kids. [1:29:11] That's cool. It is. Yeah. But it's also like, yo, how ruthless is everybody? Yeah. [1:29:18] I mean, dolphins are supposed to be our peaceful, spiritual cousins that live in the ocean. And meanwhile, they regularly kill babies, and they force their ladies into being hoes so that they don't get their babies killed. Whenever you look at animals, you've got to think about what we do. The part, though. The part of all is true. Yeah, if male dolphins kill the babies of female dolphins they haven't had sex with.

[1:29:45] You've got to think about what we do, and then you think, Dolphins are dumber than us. They're probably doing crazy shit. I don't know if they are dumber than us. [1:29:51] That's what's weird. They just can't – They fucking better be. They can't affect their environment. We assume that intelligence is only the ability to manipulate your environment. [1:30:01] That's what we assume. Because we associate intelligence with all the stuff that we've created. But [1:30:06] We don't even know what the fuck they're saying. We haven't been able to decipher their language. They have very specific languages. She was probably two or three jack-offs away from finding out. She was right on the cusp. She just left her alone. You dumb whore, get out of here. She was so close. They just needed more funding. Male dolphins sometimes kill calves sired by other males to bring the mother back into estrus sooner. Yeah. [1:30:29] allowing them to mate and pass on their genes a behavior called infanticide, observed in species like bottlenose and Pacific white-sided dolphins. [1:30:38] Yeah. It makes them have like a high-speed race, it says, to find the best agile partner. Jeez. Most agile? You've got to win that race. Shit, I'd be a terrible dolphin. Oh, they have a race. That's crazy. They're going to be pursued by several males in high-speed chases. [1:30:52] They hit him with the cone drill. [1:30:54] Yet females show selectivity for agile partners – [1:30:59] And can control fertilization via vaginal structure. Oh, so a guy could nut in them and they'd be like, no, no, baby, fuck you. Oh, that's a nice thing. That's just a nut. That's a nice thing. Those girls could do that. [1:31:11] Imagine that if they just come up with that instead of abortion. They just go, oh, we're just going to give you a dolphin pussy. Just lock it down. Look at this next part. Just when you get the guy nuts and you lock it down. Okay? Make an agreement. You sure you're going to lock it down?

[1:31:25] You told me you want babies. I swear to God. No, no, no. I'm locking it down for you. You swear to God. This is from the question answer, female dolphins. [1:31:33] of sluts. [1:31:34] Right. [1:31:34] Females participate in same-sex genital rubbing, masturbation, and pleasure-seeking via functional coturis is rich in nerves, indicating sex serves social enjoyment roles beyond procreation. Up to 75% of dolphins' sexual activity may prioritize pleasure or alliances over breeding. Males often coerce via alliances, but females evade or reposition to exert choice. [1:32:02] So they scissor. Female scissoring in the dolphin community. I like it. We broke that news here. Bring that up. There was a dusky dolphin, dude? What's that one doing? Just fucking boys in Penn State's locker room? Oh, Jesus. Come on. No. No. I had a couple. No, he's ready to roll. Oh, no. [1:32:22] Oh, no. The old dusky dolphin. Yeah, so when we think about peaceful creatures on Earth, we're the most. We're number one. We're the most peaceful. There's no chance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As war-like as we are, as far as intelligent life. Okay, all right, all right. I'll give you. Well, no, dude. There's got to be some peaceful guys. Dolphins must be going to war with each other, right? There's no way those hyraxes aren't doing anything. [1:32:45] No, there's no way we're the most peaceful. The most peaceful are those chimpanzees, the bonobos. Yeah, there's monkeys that are chilling. All they do is fuck each other.

[1:32:56] Bonobos are wild. [1:32:58] They look a lot like chimps, just a little softer. Yeah. And all they do is just get it on. Who are those guys with those big noses? Oh. Those are funny guys. Those are weird. That's a weird look. [1:33:07] How about the ones when their asshole lights up when they want to fuck? Their asshole becomes like a target when they want to fuck. You go to a strip club, they do that. Oh, bro. They put a light up in there. [1:33:19] They put a light in bucklugs. No, they have bucklugs. [1:33:24] They put bucklugs in. Oh, God. They light up? Really? Oh, bro. Pull that bucky back up. Look at that guy. Look at this guy's face. How are you? Hold on. Can you get him making a noise? They're very funny. [1:33:36] Yeah, that's the physique I'm going for. There was an old school comedian that had this big crazy nose, and they would call him the schnoz. [1:33:48] Who the fuck am I thinking of? [1:33:50] Like old-timey movies. [1:33:54] They'd call him the schnaz. That's it. Jimmy Durante. Jimmy Durante. [1:33:57] Yeah. He does look like a proboscis. A lot like one. [1:34:02] But his whole thing was like his nose was huge. [1:34:07] Yeah, you got it. [1:34:08] bro fucking schnoz that's a hell of a schnoz no other way to describe that ari shafir wouldn't make fun of his nose yeah look i mean all of his photo all the you know caricatures his nose is preposterous [1:34:21] Thank you. [1:34:22] He aged into it. Yeah. Worked out for him. When you're a young man with that fucking nose, that's tough. Rough time. Let me hear this guy. This is nice. Wait until you hear this fucker talk. Nose like a man.

[1:34:32] Nose like a man, yeah. What? I like those guys. They have to be peaceful. Oh, that's a weird face, man. Imagine if they were trying. That's what women look like now. Yeah. For real. The nose job. That's exactly what women look like. It's a Michael Jackson thing. Yeah. [1:34:47] Bro, imagine if that was 10 feet tall and was trying to kill your baby. You know what I'm saying? [1:34:52] Yeah. [1:34:58] Whoa! [1:35:00] What did they do in a past life to come back as that? [1:35:02] They must have been really mean. [1:35:05] They must have been a really mean person. What are you talking about, dude? They must have been a really mean person in past life. [1:35:10] Ha, ha, ha, ha. [1:35:13] Ha, ha, ha. Ah. Yo. Bro. Ah. Jesus. Ah. That's like a man. [1:35:21] That's like a really evil man from the past has been reincarnated as this fucked up monkey. [1:35:27] Thank you. [1:35:29] Like he's kind of conscious that something's wrong. So why am I not in my medieval manner? [1:35:36] Yeah. [1:35:37] You're at the Baltimore Zoo. This episode is brought to you by Visible. How many of you are currently listening to this podcast on your phone? If you are chronically online, like most of us are these days, your wireless network should be too. With Visible, you get unlimited 5G and unlimited hotspot, all powered by Verizon's 5G network, the perks of big wireless for half the cost. Visible isn't just a wireless plan.

[1:36:07] unlimited wireless designed to keep you connected and no contract holding you back. Switch today at visible.com. Plan start at just $25 a month or get our premium Visible Plus Pro Plan and save $10 on your first month when you use promo code Rogan, an exclusive offer for podcast listeners. [1:36:31] This episode is brought to you by Blinds.com. Texas summers don't mess around with patio surfaces easily reaching 150 degrees. Hot enough to make your backyard feel like a punishment. And if your windows are bare, indoor temperatures can go up 20 degrees. Get ahead of it with custom solar shades for your den and your patio from Blinds.com. Whether you want to do it yourself or have a pro handle everything, they've got you covered. [1:37:01] want but still have access to real design professionals they'll even send free samples blinds.com has been doing this for 30 years and they back everything with a 100 satisfaction guarantee so you can order with confidence right now my listeners can get an exclusive 40 off when you spend 500 or more at blinds.com and use the promo code rogan 40 limited time offer blinds.com [1:37:31] Ew, just getting stared at by little kids. This is good stuff. What was that other one, the Michael Jackson one?

[1:37:39] I liked that guy. The nose was one. What was that tiny little fucking guy? That tiny little guy was terrifying. It was huge. You know, it was real big and giant. It would suck to get killed by a giant cute thing. [1:37:51] Thank you. [1:37:51] You know what I mean? Like a giant fluff. You know, some of the monkeys are really cute. [1:37:55] Ha ha ha. [1:37:56] Like, if he was, like, six inches tall, he would be really cute. Like, oh, my God, he's so cute. If he was ten feet tall, he would be fucking terrifying. Yeah, he'd be an honorable snowman. Look at that fucking thing. That's what I'm saying. [1:38:12] Bro, that thing is terrifying. It's got like a bat nose. Look at his fucking creepy ass nose. [1:38:19] That would rip your fucking face right off. Just jump on your face. You wouldn't be able to pull it off. [1:38:26] Your nose would be gone. [1:38:28] Dad rules. [1:38:29] Right. But if it's 10 feet tall, it doesn't rule. That thing's standing outside your village waiting for you to dog you outside. You got a stick. Shit. That's the thing, man. Why are they so fucking cute when they're little? [1:38:42] But if that thing was giant and had fangs, if it was 10 feet tall, but it wouldn't be. It was big and scary. It would have a scary face. Like, why is that? Why do the little ones – what is cute? Why do the little ones literally have a cute face that if you made that thing big, it wouldn't be as scary? Maybe that's just our instinct to think babies are cute so we don't – [1:39:04] throw him maybe you see that guy he's great see what the dolphins do yeah maybe like it's like built into it but there's a lot of stepdads listening to this right now getting dolphin impulses i'm fucking i wish i could kill that little motherfucker it is weird though right because all the big scary things look scary

[1:39:26] Grizzlies are kind of cute. No, they're not. [1:39:29] No. I was telling you, that was the only thing I've ever seen in the wild. Toss up cute grizzly. The only thing I've ever seen in the wild. Polar bears are kind of cute, fellas. Obviously, they're terrifying, but if he was fucking one feet tall, you'd go, that's an adorable guy. That's a good point. You know what I mean? [1:39:43] Until he was, like, tearing apart a seal. Until he was bigger than you. Yeah. [1:39:47] Bro, what are you talking about? Look at that guy. That's a cub, first of all. That's still good. Look at these guys walking, dude. Show them walking. J-Mo, get them walking. [1:39:55] That's pretty cute. Now show Kodiak brown bear eating a moose. Put that in there. Kodiak brown bear eating a moose. [1:40:08] Bye. [1:40:10] Bro, there's one of them that got this moose off the side of the road and was dragging it uphill. The moose is like 1,200 pounds. You see the one during the wedding? [1:40:19] Which one is it? Oh, yeah, there's a wedding and there's a wedding and then on the other side of the fucking river. There's just a... [1:40:25] Grizzly tearing apart a moose. Yeah, they got married in Alaska. Whoops. Dude, how do you kill a moose? Bro, they can kill anything. [1:40:33] They literally kill anything. I mean, he's just riding his back, drowning him. [1:40:37] Look at this. He's just hanging on to his fucking back. [1:40:40] Look at this. So cute. That's a moose, man. Moose are so big. That video of that guy in the... [1:40:47] That moose comes up to him? I sent it in the group chat. Or you did. [1:40:51] Yeah. [1:40:52] It's the scariest fucking animal I've ever seen. Oh, they're scary. It's like a dinosaur. It's fucking terrifying. They're so big, dude.

[1:40:58] There's a guy hunting and a moose just comes up to him and is like... [1:41:01] staring at him [1:41:03] I don't know how to describe it. [1:41:05] Well, they're so huge. No, this is not it, but still terrifying. Not it, but still. That's not even a really big one. That moose, like the one that you see in the car. [1:41:14] Actually, that's a pretty big one. [1:41:16] His paddles are just going the wrong way. Yeah, that's huge. [1:41:21] Mwah. [1:41:22] whoa yeah don't do that [1:41:28] Also, [1:41:29] Thank you. [1:41:30] Borderline looks like AI, but it's probably not. [1:41:32] Well, a lot of them are right now. That's a problem. [1:41:35] Almost everything is tricked left and right. There's like the giant cat walking up to save its baby. [1:41:42] Moose are not afraid of you, though. That's one thing that's true. But generally, they're very aggressive. And depending upon what time of the year, they'll fuck your car up, man. It's not it, J-Mo, but I still, I don't want to see a moose get shot. [1:41:56] You love that shit. I don't want to see those boys get shot. Have you ever eaten moose meat? No. It's delicious. [1:42:01] It's really good. [1:42:03] It's the reason why bears try so hard to kill them. Really? Yeah. Yeah. [1:42:08] Yeah, I get it. [1:42:10] So they're cute. [1:42:11] Up to a point. Bears? Yeah. They're cute. [1:42:13] until they're about two years old. We were talking about it earlier. I don't like black bears' eyes. Bears do have shitty eyes. [1:42:20] They're so close to being cute. They got weird-looking eyes. One of the weird things about... [1:42:27] Yeah, this one. Look at that fucking...

[1:42:33] he's looking at him like dude i will fuck you up is what he's saying look how big he is [1:42:45] Thank you. [1:42:46] That's why they're scarier than every other deer, because they'll come fuck you up. Just pee your ass off. They'll kill you. Stomp you to death. Stomp you to death. And this guy is being smart by staying between the trees. Yeah. [1:42:59] Thank you. [1:43:01] This is very dangerous. [1:43:03] Like if he was out in open field, he'd be fucksville right now. [1:43:08] If he couldn't get to cover to a bunch of trees. Look at these guys duking it out in a driveway. [1:43:15] *Loud noise* Ooh, fucking their car up. [1:43:23] Why do dogs just run straight into that? Do you see dogs do that shit? They're dumb. Because we took them from wolves and turned them into little bitches. Dude, I've seen deer just fuck dogs up. There's a lot of those compilations. Oh, yeah. They start doing this. Yeah, yeah. They get on their heels. [1:43:41] but a lot of dogs killed there's that classic of that guy putting uh it's an old one but he put deer piss all over him and then a buck comes and just beats the shit out he doesn't get a shot off he gets his ass beat just [1:43:55] Turn the camera off. Oh my God, what a moron. [1:44:00] Oh, yeah. That's like the number one hunting in America is white tail deer. Yeah. Number one. Pennsylvania. Yeah. By far. Where I'm from. Yeah. Yeah.

[1:44:09] Iowa and PA, right? Yeah, well, my family lived in Harrisburg for a while. My parents did. I always forget. That's insane. [1:44:15] Mm-hmm. [1:44:15] I just go to visit him. You should have been a hairspray, man. I'm like, you've got deer everywhere out here. You could have been a central PA, man. You would have never done anything. Well, you did. No, I barely. What the fuck are you talking about? Shut up. [1:44:27] You would have been chilling. [1:44:29] I doubt it. You would have been an Elks bar. [1:44:33] You would have met Phil. I don't think I'm designed for that. [1:44:37] I would not be happy, Chucks. Shit, Knox, dude. I know. If you were from Central PA, you'd be into college football. You love it all. [1:44:45] It fucking rules. I just have to assume that who I am now, I would always have been. [1:44:49] No, that's... [1:44:51] Silly. [1:44:52] No, like the way I like things, the things I like. [1:44:57] No, you could have been a Notre Dame fan, dude. It could have been so sick. It could have been so sick. Well, I definitely could have been a fan, but I still would be doing this. I think I'd be doing the same shit I'm doing. [1:45:08] I'd figure out a way to do something. Yeah. As long as I didn't get saddled down at a young age. You go to that Elks bar. Get married at 18. Yep. Fuck. Drink and drive home. [1:45:18] The babe's there. She's proud. You got to get dad now at 18. [1:45:24] Thank you. [1:45:25] Yeah, but then that's when your fanhood of college football becomes greater. You go, dude, I get three hours on Saturday. [1:45:33] I can't fucking wait. [1:45:35] Who do we have? Ah, fuck. Central Michigan. Fuck. It's going to be a blowout. Whatever. I'm going to have beers.

[1:45:41] That's good stuff. Then you get to golf. You go, fuck, I suck at golf. Who gives a shit? I'm getting wasted. It's a good life. I'm jealous of it. It does sound like a good life. [1:45:55] But... [1:45:56] It's also... [1:46:00] difficult one like for sure [1:46:02] But that's the best life. [1:46:04] Is it? [1:46:05] Yeah, good, difficult. Yeah, that's the point. Why is good and difficult The Best Life? That's what makes... [1:46:11] That's what makes going to that bar so fucking sick. You know what I mean? Having a shitty job. [1:46:16] Shitty job. [1:46:18] Yeah. You sit down and you go, bro. [1:46:20] Let me tell you about how shitty my fucking job is. Yeah. You go get fucking hammered. [1:46:24] Three beers in, you go, my job fucking rules. My life rules. You know what? I'm going to go beat the fuck out of my wife. [1:46:37] See that Iraq video? Those guys boxing? You go, I'm going to make her put some head gear on when I get home. [1:46:42] Yeah. [1:46:43] Yeah. [1:46:45] No, it's good. I don't know. Obviously, you know, it's not like... [1:46:49] The best, but... [1:46:51] It's a good life. [1:46:52] Fucking drinking and golfing with your friends. [1:46:54] Yeah. It's funny to watch your friends age into that because my friends were never like that. [1:47:00] And now I'll go home and they're like, everyone got fat. [1:47:02] Which, that's fun. You see your boys, you go, yeah, it sucks, doesn't it? Yeah. And then... [1:47:10] They just love just hitting the local bar, getting a couple, going home.

[1:47:14] Hopefully the kids are asleep. [1:47:15] It's fun. [1:47:17] It's fun to watch from a distance. I can't. [1:47:20] Like, I'll go home for the holidays, and then my sister will bring her kids over. [1:47:24] I'm good for about 30 minutes. Well, all the things you said, the fun parts about it is that it's not complicated and you're just having a good time. Yeah. And the idea is that if you're having a good time, you'll have a better time if the rest of your day sucks. Yeah. [1:47:38] You appreciate those guys more. Yeah. [1:47:40] Yeah. [1:47:40] I get it. [1:47:44] I get it. You could have been. You could have been. Great Central Pennsylvanian. [1:47:49] I don't know, man. Central Western PA. You could have been a Steelers fan. [1:47:53] You could have been. [1:47:54] Oh, he could have been a contender. [1:47:56] Instead, you're just doing this bullshit. [1:48:00] Instead, you're fucking doing this crap. I think I was always going to just mostly be interested in one-on-one sports. [1:48:08] Maybe. For whatever reason. I like team sports. I love watching a good football game. We could have got you in the slot. No. My fucking high school wrestling coach tried to get me to play football. And I was like, no. We had this kid. His name was Bobby Baker. He was 300 pounds. He was our heavyweight. He was huge. Yeah. And I was like, me and him would be playing the same game. Yeah. So he would run over me. That's crazy. He couldn't catch you. Whatever. That's the whole point. What if he did? I'm not taking that chance. Occasionally they catch you. He was fucking huge. I was like, I'm not taking that chance. I was like, no. Yeah. I wrestled at 134 pounds. [1:48:38] Fucking playing football. Oh, you're a contender, Joe. Yeah, I didn't like the idea. Team sports are awesome. I also didn't like the idea of random people charging at you and colliding. I'm like, no, no, no, no. One in one. Let's figure this out. Football, somebody's hitting you and you're not looking. Exactly. I don't like it. A lot. You're chasing someone this way and someone just...

[1:48:59] Yeah, but then you get them. [1:49:01] then the best feeling in the world is when someone's not looking. And you get to fucking level them. It's so sick. Oh, I bet. It was my favorite. I bet. Thankfully, I played offense. Catch and slipping? Offense, I got a lot of those. [1:49:17] But every once in a while we'd throw an interception. I had no idea how to pursue... [1:49:21] A corner just run. I'd be. [1:49:25] I don't know where to look. I got laid out. [1:49:28] Yeah. It's fun. [1:49:30] Team Sports Pro. I get it. [1:49:33] You like fucking hunting with those guys. That's a team sport. [1:49:36] Not really. You're all going out on your own. [1:49:41] Or you're going out two at a time. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. [1:49:44] Like Cam and I went together, but it's you. [1:49:48] The thing about team sports that's awesome is the camaraderie, right? That's what's awesome. [1:49:53] But we still always drive me nuts when I was playing baseball. I played baseball as a kid. I don't want to be a loser because little Billy dropped the ball. [1:50:00] Baseball is also still kind of an individual sport. There's a lot of, like, a pitcher versus a batter. It was the way I played it. It's very individual. I sucked. You should have seen what happened to me at baseball. I sucked. I sucked. I hit puberty and just lost all hand-eye coordination for a year. Dude, last year playing baseball was like seventh or eighth grade. I don't think I had a hit. [1:50:22] For an entire season. That's hilarious. That's hilarious. I remember fifth grade, I got hit by a pitch from a girl. A girl pitcher.

[1:50:31] And I turned when she was throwing it, and it hit me right in the back where I lost. I lost. The wind got knocked out of me, and I was on first base like. Isn't that crazy? It's like when you're a boy, and then you hit puberty, and all of a sudden your body's weirdly shaped. It moves different. The dynamics are all different. You can't walk up stairs right. You think the stairs are taller than they are. It's weird. You grow. You grow. You grow, and your dick is hard all the time. Think about those dudes. You're so distracted. [1:51:01] my friends grew like a [1:51:03] Like a foot. In a year. In a year. I was like, dude, that must have hurt like hell. That's crazy. It must have fucking killed. That's so crazy. Rock hard. Everything hurts. Oh. [1:51:15] banging into things. Ow! [1:51:19] His shins are all in the way of everything. Your dad's like, you fucking pussy. [1:51:24] Dad, it hurt. [1:51:25] hilarious [1:51:27] Yeah, and no one knows how to do it. [1:51:30] No. How was it having kids going through puberty? That must have been crazy. [1:51:35] And you have girls, right? Yeah, they get emotional. [1:51:40] But they go from like – because the only time I've seen it is my niece. [1:51:43] And it's like she was like your best friend. [1:51:47] And then there's like two years where it's like, Uncle Shane, you don't fucking anything. Fuck you. Luckily, our kids are not like that. They're very communicative. We have like a really good way of communicating with each other all the time. There's no like hateful. No, I will say this about it. You do get some of that from kids. All of a sudden you notice it. They get angry at you for enforcing rules and stuff, but they're pretty fucking cool.

[1:52:11] They're really cool. [1:52:14] The thing is, it's like the whirlwind is impossible for everybody to come out flawless. Like you're getting hormones. Your whole life has changed. Now all of a sudden you like girls or you like boys. And your whole life is now a pursuit of getting girls to like you or getting boys to like you. And then you have friend groups. And then everyone has got a fucking – They're mean. And you all have a menstrual cycle that syncs up together. They all get crazy together. Dude, those – I never even thought about those weeks. [1:52:44] are nuts. They smell each other and all their fucking blood sinks up on the same time. It's disgusting. How weird is that? Then they all get mean for a week together? That's why girls don't really have friends. [1:52:56] Well, there's a lot of reasons why they don't have friends. But think about one week a month, you and your friends all are fucking nasty to each other? Yeah. That's crazy. [1:53:03] It is crazy. [1:53:05] What do you hear of more? Do you hear of more... [1:53:10] like a girl being betrayed one of by one of her friends who tries to fuck her husband. [1:53:15] You hear about that more than you would hear about a husband trying to fuck someone's wife, right? Yeah. That's like a more risky move. So that's probably one of the reasons why girls don't trust girls like that, bitch. [1:53:28] She should just go fuck my man. And also the guy will definitely say yes. [1:53:35] It's such an easy one. It'll be a secret. Oh, secret. Fuck. Okay. The secret sounds good. Yeah, he might kill me. But yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck it. Yeah. I'm watching this show. What is it called? The Beast in Me?

[1:53:49] The new Netflix show? [1:53:51] Bro. [1:53:52] The reason why I brought that up, there's a scene where, spoiler alert, where a cop is banging this other cop, a female cop. Oh, damn. I wish there was guys. It'd be hilarious. She's married, and it's like one of them things. Yeah. You know? Like, eee. There's people out there just. I think a lot of people. Yeah. Yeah. This show is fucking great, though. That Claire Danes show. Have you seen it? No, I haven't. I heard it was good. Oh, it's good. Nice. I'm only a couple episodes in, but it's a good one. [1:54:22] That lady can fucking... Keep jacking off, though. It's taking forever. [1:54:28] Fuck it. I've been watching this thing for six weeks. Keep jacking off. [1:54:36] How far are you? 45 minutes. Keep jacked off. When you start pressing play, it picks up where you dropped it off. You're 45 minutes in the first episode. Bro, man, I wish I could tell you. I'm not doing this. [1:54:49] I took a picture of it. [1:54:52] That's so funny. I jacked off to a... That was... All right. [1:54:59] When I finished jacking off, this is at 111 in the morning today. Okay. I looked up and the screen was a map of... [1:55:08] The British invasion. [1:55:12] As soon as I got done, I was like, oh, they're invading Mohawk territory by Fort Stanwix. See, I took a photo of it. I took a photo. I said, dude, it's insane to finish and look up and go, what am I doing? What the fuck?

[1:55:27] That's funny. That's so funny. [1:55:30] you gotta give it a watch shit rocks you're gonna fucking jack off I started it it's awesome all his stuff's awesome he takes topics that you would go I'm never gonna watch that [1:55:45] Fucking rules. No, he can do anything. Baseball? You go, what could be interesting about this? The Vietnam one was excellent. Vietnam fucking ruled. Yeah. [1:55:54] Yeah. You know, like he's really rare because essentially PBS just lets him just put it together. I know what the way he wants. They don't fuck with him at all. [1:56:04] Is Trump trying to get rid of PBS? [1:56:06] I don't know. [1:56:07] He better not touch my Ken Burns, dude. My thought, though, is that he can kind of do that anywhere now. [1:56:15] Sure. Like, he could do it on YouTube, and it would be massive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Imagine if he put a series like that out on YouTube. Does YouTube pay for that? Yeah, they pay you. No, I mean after. Pay you for downloads. Yeah, but. [1:56:28] When they paid like Netflix would probably do it. They'd probably have the big money. Yeah. Yeah. [1:56:34] He should do HBO. You can do it anywhere. But his stuff is so good, no one cares where it is. They'll find it on PBS. They'll buy the DVD or rent it online. What budget of fucking PBS is going to Ken Burns, dude? That must be. 80%. He's their Stern. Absolutely. Absolutely. We got one guy. We got one guy. He got Ken Burns. Fuck. Stern just re-signed. I saw that. He's a man. [1:56:56] It's good for him.

[1:56:58] Good for him. I guess he still likes to do it. Good. [1:57:02] How long do you think you'll be doing comedy and podcasting? [1:57:06] Do you think you're ever going to get to a point in time? I don't know how long I'll do podcasting. [1:57:11] I'll probably fuck him forever. Right. Comedy for sure. Yeah. Stand up for sure. But the podcasting is where I get a little like, you're good at it. [1:57:20] because you talk about like fucking topics and things you're interested in. All I have is me. [1:57:24] So after a while you're like, I don't want to keep putting myself out. You know, right, right, right, right. I know it's good. Like no privacy. Yeah, I know. Yeah, it's like, um, I don't know. [1:57:35] But you could do a podcast where you talk to anybody as well. You could do... [1:57:39] I could do a history podcast if I put like any – 100%. If I put effort into it. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. You 100% could. And you could also do a history podcast where you have an interest in a subject and you know a lot about it but not like enough to do a podcast on it. You could just bring an expert in and have a conversation with him about it. [1:57:59] I'll be honest. I've thought about it. I had a... [1:58:02] teacher at Harrisburg Area Community College who was a... [1:58:06] He was a Gettysburg tourer. [1:58:08] He was a tour guide? [1:58:09] And it's Harrisburg Area Community College, so no one gave a fuck. And I was taking Civil War history. I was locked in. This guy fucking loved me. It was me and ten other fucking... [1:58:19] Low IQ guys jacking off. And I was just like, so what actually happened at the Battle of Sporting Hill? [1:58:26] He was like, that's a great question. [1:58:27] It was nice.

[1:58:28] Tour guides, you ever go to a battlefield? [1:58:31] No. [1:58:31] Nothing I think of. Bro. Have I? Get a tour guide and go to a battlefield. Shit's awesome. I don't think I ever have. [1:58:37] any battlefield. [1:58:39] It's awesome. [1:58:40] They know everything. [1:58:41] Their whole life. [1:58:43] They just live it. They fucking are there every day. They know every single thing. It's a little weird. It's awesome. It's a little weird. It's a little weird, but it's... [1:58:50] cool to be a part of. Yeah? Yeah. [1:58:52] Okay, I'll go with you. You can get a guy to, like a Gettysburg, can get him in your car. [1:58:58] And you just drive the battlefield. Why don't we just go to the Alamo? That would be awesome. [1:59:02] I don't know much about Texas history. [1:59:05] I don't know why. Because it was always... [1:59:07] I don't know a whole lot. I know a lot about the Texas Rangers. We could get a Comanche tour. We could get... Ooh, that's what we need. There had to be a battle. [1:59:15] Oh, yeah. See, it always felt like it was like light cavalry and skirmishes. Well, there's a lot of that, too. The real thing that changed was the pistol when they figured out how to make a revolver. Because those dudes at muskets did not stand a fucking chance. Fuck, I missed. All right. I got 15 minutes. 15 minutes. [1:59:33] This fucking swine at me. This guy got jacked. The thing about the Comanches, too, is they were really good at riding horses and shooting arrows off the horses. So they'd just run right at them and fill them up with arrows. Think about that, though. Like, you see an Indian... [1:59:45] You go, all right, well, this has worked before out east. I could just sit here and shoot at him. Guy's riding on the side of his horse, shooting arrows at you. Yeah, hiding behind the body of his horse. He's doing tricks? And then he's going to eat my family? He's going to do some weird shit? They did some weird shit to people. Did you ever read Empire of the Summer Moon? I did. Bro. Incredible.

[2:00:05] The scene that they describe where they chop this guy's arms and legs off and then threw him on the fire while he was still alive to watch him squirm. [2:00:15] I was like, you. And he was like, that's why they never surrendered. [2:00:21] They didn't have surrender in their thought process. No, they were going to die or kill you. Yeah, they're doing the weirdest shit. [2:00:27] possible. You've got to die after that. Alright, I'll just go to jail. And they were doing that to other Native Americans too, by the way. That's what... [2:00:35] this was about. [2:00:37] Like they would – their favorite thing was to go on raiding parties. Yeah. [2:00:41] Yo. Damn, he's just trying to sleep. Yo. Some guy cuts your arms and legs off. That's why you can't have that CPAP on. [2:00:53] You know, you have a full throttle. You ever see Hostiles? [2:00:57] It's Christian Bale. [2:01:00] I don't think I did see that one. You would love it. I'm sure I'd love it. It fucking rules. I don't think I did. The opening scene is... What year was that from? 2017. [2:01:08] No, I definitely didn't. Opening scene is some Comanches attacking a... [2:01:12] of. [2:01:13] settlers. [2:01:14] It's fucking great. Show me what the poster looks like. I've seen too many movies, dude. My brain is... Hostiles rules. Does it? Yeah. [2:01:21] Thank you. [2:01:22] No, I didn't see it. [2:01:23] I didn't see it, but I did hear good things about it. Chalamet is in that. It's almost like there's too many fucking movies and too many good ones slip through the cracks. Yeah, give it a shot. Oh, no, this is... [2:01:33] Start from the beginning. You can't watch this. Oh, dang. Skip ahead to get some visuals here. I can't really show it on the screen.

[2:01:41] it's, uh, [2:01:43] They're getting attacked. [2:01:44] This guy going, fuck it. [2:01:45] They're going to take the horses. I'd rather die. [2:01:51] Yeah. Hmm. [2:01:53] It looks familiar. [2:01:54] It's great. Maybe I did see it. [2:01:56] Anyway, yeah, that was, but you know what I'd like to see is the Little Bighorn. [2:02:01] Never been up there. Custer's last stand? [2:02:03] That'd be a cool one. Where's that? [2:02:06] Dakota's... [2:02:08] South Dakota? [2:02:10] I'm a dumbass if I got which one wrong. It's one of the Daco's. [2:02:15] Yeah, that's got to be weird to stand on the ground. [2:02:18] Where all those people died. That's a good one. [2:02:20] Because he was there to hunt them, and he ended up running into, like, the biggest... [2:02:24] congregation of native americans ever yeah fucking smoke they all got together yeah [2:02:30] Montana. Oh, Montana? What am I? A fucking idiot? [2:02:35] Damn. [2:02:36] out in the middle of nowhere. [2:02:38] Wow. [2:02:40] Imagine... [2:02:41] the [2:02:43] just the visual of thinking you're chasing them down and you're hunting them. You're on the attack and you go over the hill and you're like, Oh shit. No. Yeah. [2:02:56] What is this a reenact? That's just where it is. That's what it looks like there. [2:02:59] They probably reenact it every year just like the Civil War dorks do. I've been to those. I love those. I go to Gettysburg and watch it. It was so sick. That's hilarious. It was awesome. That was hilarious. Yeah. A little big one would be a sick one.

[2:03:14] I was watching this dude. He had a truck truck. [2:03:17] YouTube video and he was doing like some upgrade to this truck and he pointed to the front license plate he said oh [2:03:27] And here we got a Mississippi license plate. And I was like... [2:03:30] What is that? [2:03:32] Have you seen the Mississippi flag for the license? Was it just the Confederate flag? Yeah. [2:03:38] Kinda. Have you seen the Mississippi flag? See if you can find the Mississippi flag. Because he had a Mississippi flag. I fucked it up. But for his front license plate. [2:03:46] And I was like, wait a minute. Yeah, Mississippi held it down for... [2:03:50] I think they might still be holding it down. I think it was a recent update, but I think that's what it used to look like. Okay. [2:03:58] That's crazy. [2:04:00] That is so wild. Ah, so sick. I don't give a fuck, dude. It's fucking sick. Obviously, I understand people having a problem with it. I get it. [2:04:10] I think, well. I bet that changed down in 2021. That's kind of crazy that they kept that Confederate flag in there for so long. Oh, wait, this is... [2:04:17] All right. [2:04:18] Yeah, 2020. For 1996 to 2020. So that's what it was? 96. So what is it currently? Pre-96 might have been just the fucking... Current. Oh, they turned into a flower. [2:04:31] That's what it is currently? It's a flower? [2:04:34] Thank you. [2:04:35] That's hilarious. [2:04:37] Well, it wasn't for this dude in his truck. [2:04:43] That's it.

[2:04:45] Oh. [2:04:45] State flags back then were so sick. [2:04:49] At Gettysburg, you can see all the battle flags they had. South had some good ones. Did they? North typically stuck with the fucking American flag, but... [2:04:59] It was all state pride. It was fucking cool. They all had fucking slogans. They would talk shit. It was fucking awesome. It's so cool. [2:05:08] Yeah, they were basically Europe. And they had reputations. It's a bunch of countries. 1894... [2:05:13] Thank you. [2:05:14] Wow, took it down in 2020. [2:05:16] I think they were doing all the rest of the Confederate monument stuff. That's so crazy. They were like, also, Mississippi, boys, what are you doing? Imagine if somebody still had a swastika in their flag, and they were just rocking that. [2:05:28] What? Right. Come on. Come on. It's just a part of it. It's historical. It's German. We're German. [2:05:35] Part of our thing. [2:05:37] Yeah, they had good ones. And you would like that. Each group had, like, they had reputations. [2:05:42] Like, uh... [2:05:43] I think it was the Iron Brigade. It was like these Midwest freaks. [2:05:46] So they were all like... [2:05:48] German and Norwegian, they were all fucking huge. Right. And, like, they wore big, tall black hats to make them even taller. [2:05:54] And, like, the Confederate generals would see those black hats and be like, fuck, get out of there. [2:05:59] I don't know if they're... Well, whatever. They ruled. Yeah. [2:06:03] It's fun. There was the Louisiana Tigers. They would fucking get you. [2:06:08] They're a bunch of freaks. Imagine dressing up. Look at that photo. Pull that photo up again that you showed the earlier one. [2:06:14] The one where they're all like standing there with their suits on. Imagine getting dressed up real nice to go kill people.

[2:06:22] Look at that. [2:06:22] That's so weird. No, I'd rather get killed by a guy fucking dressed up. Click on the one in the upper right corner, the left-hand thumbnails. [2:06:30] Yeah, right there. [2:06:32] Look at that dude. [2:06:33] That's a good guy. He could shoot me. But just imagine. Like, this is how you're getting dressed up to go to war. It's so weird looking. [2:06:40] What's your – [2:06:41] This is a full-on pose photo with a fake background like you'd take at school. Good point. Show them the... Good point. You could do that with Marines, right? In a military dress, right? Yeah, they would wear that. No, they didn't have... Show them the zoaves. [2:06:54] What's a zwabe? You're going to like their outfits. Yeah? Yeah. Little gay boy outfits. They're fucking people up. [2:07:03] Thank you. [2:07:04] Z-O-U-V-E-S. [2:07:07] I think. [2:07:08] Thank you. [2:07:10] Oh, boy. Swag, dude. Whoa. Where were they? [2:07:15] MC Hammer Pants. [2:07:17] Where did they live? They were in the north. They were breaking... [2:07:21] New York? [2:07:22] No. Really? Yeah. Hold this thought. I have to pee. I'm with you. We'll be right back. So who are these African fellows? They're from Africa? No, they swagger jacked the French North African. Oh, so the other guys were where, though? That swagger jacked. Where were they? I think New York. I think the Irish Brigade might have tried it. [2:07:44] Could be wrong. Bro, when I first saw Gangs in New York, I was like, wait, this happened too? Yeah. [2:07:49] What?

[2:07:52] So these are the guys? [2:07:54] Yeah, it's good swag. Where did they live, though? [2:07:59] uh... [2:08:01] I think if you look up Zouave's American Civil War... [2:08:04] So these guys fought in the Civil War dressed like that? Yeah. [2:08:09] Wow. [2:08:11] Imagine you're hanging out with a bunch of dudes and everyone's dressing like... [2:08:16] Bro, that was the drip. [2:08:18] That was the coolest group of dudes. Look at these guys. What's with the hats? [2:08:24] That's a crazy look. [2:08:28] So how many of those were... [2:08:30] From the area where this is Chicago from the first first one. [2:08:35] Huh. [2:08:36] He formed the first American company inspired by North African light infantry known as the Zouaves that had won distinction in both Algeria and Crimea. [2:08:46] Bro, that part of the world. [2:08:50] Whew, that's one of the things about, like, when... [2:08:53] Russian fighters fight in the UFC. I always have to, like, I got my little calculations. Like, this guy, he moves real good. I'm like, he's from where? [2:09:03] He's from Chechnya? Well, he's going to win. Well, he's probably going to fuck this guy up. Check out what the description is here. [2:09:10] A fellow who can pull up a 110-pound dumbbell, who can climb up an 80-foot rope hand over hand with a barrel flower hanging to his heels, hanging to his heels. I don't know what that means. Who can jump 17 feet 4 inches high without a springboard. 17 feet high. That's cool. They must have been crazy.

[2:09:40] bath what who can take a five shooting revolver in each hand and knock the spots off the 10 of diamonds at 80 paces turning somersaults all the time and firing every shot in the air that's a suave [2:09:55] All right, whose quote is this? That's a silly quote. That guy was gay. That guy was a drunk suave. Tony Hingrich. He was gay for the suaves. Yeah, I'll tell you what they could do. This guy. This guy's doing backflips and shooting cards. Yeah, it's supposed to be an exaggeration. Of course. Of course, you can't jump fucking 20 feet. Nobody can do that. At first, I was with you, though. He said he shot the spades at 80 yards. What did he say, 80 paces? [2:10:25] Americans were going nuts over the new kind of fighting force. [2:10:29] 80 paces is kind of crazy. How far is 80 paces? [2:10:33] What does that mean when they say 80 paces? I got it right, New York. I feel good about that. [2:10:37] So it's just like if you – just a full step? I guess. But it's everybody's step is longer or shorter. [2:10:44] True. So what is it like... [2:10:46] You're shooting a card with a fucking musket at 80 yards. You know how retarded that is? If you're doing a draw or a duel against a short guy, you're fucked. He's going to hit 10 paces real quick. You get shot in the back. I think everybody has a count. Is ready, aim, fire. 10 paces. [2:11:06] This is the first guy. It also says he was the first Union officer to die in combat. [2:11:10] He's a dork.

[2:11:13] He was trying to wear cool clothes. He got shot. Yeah, my first thought is how would a law student in Chicago have read about these guys fighting in Africa? He was a dork. Read a newspaper article? Yeah. [2:11:25] He probably was way too into looking good and not really thinking about the war part of it. [2:11:30] Just, you know. And then all of a sudden, first Manassas comes around. There you go. We're going to whip them. Watch out. They have guns, too. Yeah. Yeah. [2:11:40] There's some good last quotes from Gettysburg. [2:11:43] Or from just the Civil War. They're hilarious. Because it's guys talking like that. I just remember one from Gettysburg where a guy's last quote was like, what are you guys ducking for? They couldn't hit an elephant from that distance and get shot in the head. Who said that to him? He said that to a transcriber. All of his boys were ducking. [2:12:01] And hiding behind rocks. And he was like, come on, what are you guys, pussies? They couldn't hit an elephant from this distance. [2:12:06] Oh, you popped in the head. Tough last one. Yeah. You want your last words to be cool. [2:12:13] How accurate were those rifles even? [2:12:16] The rifles that they used, so they used ball... No, they started getting rifling. They started getting rifling? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Real bullets? So Gettysburg was 63, so by then they were definitely... [2:12:27] Right, because the Comanche – when they were fighting the Comanche, they had already introduced the cult. [2:12:34] I think in like... [2:12:36] 1850? When did Colt invent the revolver? Oh, here it goes. I feel like officers had revolvers. What year is this? So 1861...

[2:12:47] It says Model 1861. That's a rifled musket. [2:12:52] 1855, that's another rifled musket. [2:12:57] It says rifle. [2:12:58] Okay, it doesn't say rifled musket. It says rifle, but it has a flint lock. [2:13:03] Like the whole thing, it looks the same. But then Navy, Colt Navy Revolver, it doesn't say what year. [2:13:08] Oh, it says weapons of the Civil War. So they had revolvers. [2:13:14] At least the officers did, and then the cavalry had those... [2:13:19] And yeah, scroll back up again to that image. [2:13:22] That was a better one. [2:13:23] The one that you just showed? [2:13:24] Oh, okay. [2:13:26] So those bottom ones, they look like actual rifles. [2:13:31] That looks like a long pistol, right? Yeah. [2:13:34] So I bet they had a bullet. [2:13:38] Right, those aren't muskets, right? Top, this mini ball thing. [2:13:42] Mmm. [2:13:45] Interesting. [2:13:46] But they definitely had, like... It seems like they had pistols. The South definitely had some guys with some muskets coming out. So what year did Colt invent the pistol? Because I think they started using them, the Texas Rangers started using them first, before the military even used them. [2:14:01] That was the story in Empire of the Summer Moon, right? [2:14:05] Thank you. [2:14:06] Which is crazy that someone wouldn't want to buy something that can shoot five rounds. 36, damn. Wow, 1836. The revolver. [2:14:15] 1831, he invented the first practical revolver in 1831 and received a U.S. patent for the revolving cylinder design on February 25, 1836. So in 1831, this motherfucker invented it. 1836, he gets the patent, and nobody wanted it. We don't want it. We don't want to pay for your fucking crazy revolver.

[2:14:37] Oh, you can stab with that. I'm an old school musket guy. [2:14:41] Yeah. [2:14:43] I want to take 10 minutes. [2:14:45] These guys that are like old school and everything. [2:14:49] There's going to be always those guys that are old school Moscow guys. Look at that thing. [2:14:52] Wow. What is that little thing on the side? Is that the gunpowder? [2:14:58] That doesn't make sense. [2:15:00] Like how did that work? [2:15:02] They do that. Like, when did they invent bullets? I think they had to make their own bullets. Oh, my God. They had to make their own bullets. That's crazy. Of course. Yeah, right? Yeah. If you ran out. [2:15:14] So you probably have the cartridges, you pack all your bullshit in there, and you got your little fake... [2:15:18] Top? I bet they sucked. I bet half the time they didn't go off right. [2:15:23] Yeah, they probably had the gun before they had the ammo invented, right? [2:15:26] Yeah, probably. [2:15:28] Yeah, because – right. How would he – I bet the first one they had handmade ammo. When did they start mass-producing ammo where you could just go buy ammo? I think that would be like World War I. No. Well, slightly. I've actually just read about this. I mean a little bit before. American Civil War, they would have mass-produced ammo. Some, but we didn't have giant factories back then, so they started converting factories to do stuff. Yeah. [2:15:50] Wow. [2:15:52] and then [2:15:53] big war comes. [2:15:54] You may start making money off of it. [2:15:57] That's a problem that, like, manufacturing goes big up when there's a nice fat war. [2:16:03] People get real excited, a lot of jobs. [2:16:05] I was like, don't get addicted to that. Well, maybe we did.

[2:16:09] Oh, we definitely did. [2:16:11] Imagine like growing up in the 50s, the kind of patriotism people must have had after winning World War II. [2:16:17] You'd feel so, dude, that'd be so sick. Wouldn't be incredible. It'd be awesome. It must have been amazing. We were fucking Americans. We saved the world. [2:16:25] That was the narrative. [2:16:26] And then Vietnam fucked it all up. [2:16:29] And people couldn't believe it. I thought we were the good guys. [2:16:32] We went to the good wars. [2:16:34] Just makes you wonder how many times have we been tricked. [2:16:38] How many times have people been tricked? [2:16:42] Don't get into that. A lot. Don't get into that thought process. I love getting into that thought process. You're going to go, wait a second. [2:16:49] What's that, Jamie? Celebrations of Victory Day. Yeah, look at all these people. [2:16:53] Holding up signs that say peace. [2:16:55] Everybody's so happy. They know they're going to get to live. You only get that happy when you think you were going to die. If there was no war and these people just said, let's have a celebration for being an American. There's a black guy, dead center. That's nice. [2:17:08] How do you get everybody to look at the camera? [2:17:10] What the fuck? One black dude dead center. Some guy had a bullhorn. I guess. Everyone, please look tall. There's definitely one camera. We're going to take a... That might be AI. [2:17:23] Seems like there's too many people. No, I believe that picture. It's like Times Square. Yeah, that's a cover of an album. It looks good. That's a Pink Floyd album. I mean, maybe, maybe not, but it's just... [2:17:36] I guess if you see one camera, it wants to be in the picture. Yeah, what is that? Come on, son.

[2:17:41] What the fuck is that? There were like four cameras. They were probably like, holy shit, a camera's here. Yeah. Right. Yeah. [2:17:47] Everybody look up here. Yeah. And back then everyone was taking orders. Also, it might be AI. [2:17:54] No, those are real. [2:17:55] I believe those. I do too. [2:17:57] It might be a simulation. [2:18:00] Do you imagine being there though? What a party. I bet everybody just fucked everybody. It's probably the best party ever. They probably went crazy for like days just drinking and... [2:18:08] Yeah. Getting your fuck on. Then that hangover hits and you go, fuck. Back to the bar. I gotta go to work. Back to the bar. Yeah. Fuck. Crazy. Yeah. Fuck all that PTSD those guys just got. [2:18:19] You know, coming home, drinking a couple beers. Oh, yeah. [2:18:25] Oh, yeah. Liberating a camp, seeing all that. Trench warfare. [2:18:30] Yeah, World War I trenches. How about that? Bummer. How about what those people come back from? Watching their buddies getting eaten by wolves. [2:18:37] Thank you. [2:18:38] Over in, for some reason, you're in Europe. This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter. When you're looking to hire, you consider someone's skills, experience, availability. But even more important than that is someone's enthusiasm. They should want to be there. Finding the right kind of motivation isn't as tough as you think. You just need ZipRecruiter. Try it for free at ZipRecruiter.com slash Rogan. [2:19:08] you with qualified candidates instantly and their latest feature puts the most interested ones at the top of your list so you can make sure you're speaking with the right people at the start use zip recruiter and find enthusiastic talent fast four out of five employers who post on zip recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day and now you can try it for free at zip recruiter.com

[2:19:38] ZipRecruiter.com slash Rogan. Meet your match on ZipRecruiter. This episode is brought to you by Uber Eats. This summer, soccer is here, and the watch parties will be going back to back to back. But don't worry. Uber Eats has your game day essentials covered with 30% off all orders from Aldi, Kroger, and Dollar General. [2:20:08] We'll be right back. [2:20:38] For some reason. We're fighting Germany? Why? [2:20:42] So you got flown in for some reason? In World War I, why? Yeah. For the record. [2:20:45] Well, the craziest thing in World War I, it was a lot of crazy things, but the Fritz Haber story. What's that? Fritz Haber is the guy that invented Zyklon B, right? Oh. So he invented Zyklon A. He was the first inventor of it, but he invented it as a pesticide, and it had a very distinct odor. [2:21:05] And then Zyklon B, they removed that odor.

[2:21:09] He also invented gas. He invented a bunch of shit. One of the things he invented is a way to get nitrogen out of the atmosphere. [2:21:17] It's called the Haber Method. And to this day, like 50% of the nitrogen in people's bodies in a lot of places in the world is through the Haber Method. So that revolutionized fertilizer. So you can get nitrogen from the air. He figured this out. At the same time, he was using gas to fucking kill the Allied troops with giant fans. So at the same time, he was up for a Nobel Prize. He was also wanted for war crimes. [2:21:41] Thank you. [2:21:43] And he was Jewish. So eventually... The guy who invented Cyclone B was Jewish? Yes. And eventually he had a flea. Talk about your all-time backfires. They kept him around for a while. They tried because he was so valuable because he came up with the gas. [2:21:57] Oh. Yeah. Yeah. [2:21:58] And then eventually he had a flee. They didn't kill him, but they let him flee the country, and he died on the road. He died in transit. [2:22:06] He had a bad heart, I believe. Oh, it's a terrible story, dude. [2:22:09] Is this worse to it? His wife committed suicide in front of him and he left anyway to go to the front lines and he left his 13-year-old son with her as she was dying. [2:22:21] Yeah, she shot herself in front of him. [2:22:24] And he was like, fuck it, I'm going to, well. I'm going to the front line. He was probably going to kill himself. It's a crazy story. Damn. Crazy story. [2:22:32] It's a good movie. Yeah, but imagine like you've invented this thing that unquestionably helped so many human beings. You figured out how to get nitrogen from the atmosphere and you could use it as industrial fertilizer. How much food was grown? How many people were fed? How many starving people were prevented because of this guy's method? Yeah, at the same time, he figured out you could just gas people, just send poison through the air and everybody downwind dead.

[2:23:02] dogs cats pigs fuck you it's a cloud of poison with giant fans just blowing poison towards you fuck [2:23:16] But, I mean, why is it better to shoot people? Why is it better what we did with Hiroshima? No, it's way better. [2:23:22] The gas? [2:23:23] No. Shooting people? Yes. Well, to be nice... Do you hear those stories of getting fucking gassed? The nicest way... Those are the worst things I've ever heard. ...is a big nuke. That's the nicest. He just goes by... Unless you're on the... [2:23:32] slight outskirts. Then you're getting burned. [2:23:37] So, [2:23:37] You know what the craziest thing that anybody said to me on the podcast recently? [2:23:41] This dude was talking. We were talking about UFOs. [2:23:44] And one of the things that he said was that one of the ways that they had described one of the things that they're working on that they thought was a back-engineered craft, the way they described it as a simultaneous nuclear payload delivery system. [2:24:02] meaning that the moment... [2:24:05] You want it or instantaneous. Yeah. Instantaneous. Instantaneously. Like it literally shows up wherever you want it to be and delivers the nuclear bomb. Like there's no delay. Yeah. [2:24:16] There's nothing because it's operating on some sort of a gravity propulsion system that bends space around it and rockets it towards whatever that point in time or point on the map you want it to be instantaneously. [2:24:29] Imagine if the fucking... This is the reason why the aliens haven't landed. It's because...

[2:24:35] We gave – they came here. They dropped off some UFOs. They said, hey, guys, figure this out. This is how we travel. And we said, wouldn't it be cool to just nuke people instantly? We put a gun on this thing. And that's how they described it, instantaneous nuclear payload delivery system. And I was like, that might be the most terrifying thing. [2:25:05] instantly, anywhere you want in the world. What year did all the UFO shit start? It all started after the bombs. Roswell? When was Roswell? 47. That's straight to fucking put a nuke on this thing. [2:25:16] That's all they were thinking about. That's all they were thinking about? That's the only thing they were thinking about. The moment we can figure this out, we're putting a fucking nuke on it. No way we can kill everybody? Yeah, they just had to drop them out of propeller planes two years ago. [2:25:28] Think of that. So they go from dropping it out of a fucking giant propeller plane to two years later. Supposedly, this thing crashes, and they're back engineering it and really quickly inventing the transistor, weird scientific provenance to it. And then the other weird thing was fiber optics. There's a lot of weird stuff after Roswell. Yeah. A lot of weird inventions. Yeah. [2:25:51] I will say, though... [2:25:53] Devil's Advocate is 47, 48. That's like... [2:25:57] The whole country is inventing things for war. Oh, yeah. For war. Yeah. So we're trying our hardest to invent this shit. Oh, 100%. There's just a weird story behind the transistor. What's that? Yeah. Well, you can find it, Jamie. We brought it up the other day. It is odd when you read it. I don't know how that shit works. The way to create it.

[2:26:15] It's such a crazy invention, the way to create it. And then there's like this dispute between the guy who was given credit for inventing it and these other guys that were scientists. And they're like, that guy's a fucking bozo. Like there's no – why did he get the credit for that? And it more likely – [2:26:31] It was something that they got from somewhere. It's like there's a weird leap between what they were thinking of doing and what this is. [2:26:40] I'm butchering it until we get the quote. I bet back then you could just, if somebody was a scientist and invented something, you could go, [2:26:46] Yeah. Well, they just did it. I can't believe I invented it. I know. That guy at MIT. I know. [2:26:50] Yeah. [2:26:51] Bro, that's terrifying. [2:26:53] That's terrifying. It's the same guy as the Brown shooting. Is it? Is that what they're saying? Apparently. [2:26:59] How convenient. Is he dead already? How convenient. Mm-hmm. [2:27:03] How convenient. I could be wrong on that. Jamie, I know you're looking at multiple things. Is that really true? But didn't they say the Portuguese guy who was a physicist who did the Brown shooting? [2:27:14] The guy who did the Brown shooting was a physicist. Yes. They know this for sure. [2:27:19] I think so. Again, this is coming out a week later. And they think this same guy – [2:27:23] What? Okay. Brown University shooting live update. Suspect in Brown and MIT shootings found dead as motive remains unclear. [2:27:33] Thank you. [2:27:33] Holy. [2:27:36] Suspect had 200 rounds, laser sights.

[2:27:41] Mm-hmm. [2:27:44] Okay. [2:27:46] Mm-hmm. [2:27:47] So this is the suspect in the Brown University shooting and the MI2 shooting. [2:27:54] So he's the suspect in both shootings. [2:27:57] 48-year-old Portuguese national. So he goes there and he shoots this guy that's a fusion scientist that's working on crazy shit and is talking about – see if you can find the thing where he was talking about – we played it, right? Where he was talking about the poles, the electromagnetic poles, the north and south pole that they have to switch. And if they don't switch, we lose our electromagnetic sphere that's protecting us. [2:28:23] Thank you. [2:28:24] I don't believe it. Magnetosphere. I don't believe it. You don't believe it? No. No? Too crazy? Yeah. Fuck it. There's no way, dude. But if this guy... I'm focused on college football. I get it. I don't... They killed this guy, though. I have no use for electromagnetic spheres. But if this guy invented some or was onto some technology that could revolutionize power, if he really did find cold fusion... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those guys get killed. [2:28:54] gets killed. Yeah. And he's involved in some fusion project. Absolutely. Absolutely. [2:28:58] And then 24 hours later, Trump, True Social, like, merges with a fusion power company. Yeah, yeah, yeah. [2:29:06] Did that happen? Yeah. [2:29:07] Oh. Jesus Christ. Are you serious? Yes. Yeah, pull that story up.

[2:29:14] I'm thinking about college football playoffs. I know. I'm thinking about Jake Paul and Anthony Joshua. That'll be fun. Here it goes. True social parent to merge with nuclear fusion firm in $[redacted address], it could be totally unrelated. [2:29:28] What a coincidence. Or Trump Media and Technology Group, the social media and crypto company, part owned by President Trump, said it would help develop a utility scale fusion power plant. [2:29:40] Thank you. [2:29:41] I wish that, you know what that Portuguese fellow should have done is waited until, he should have got, if he was a real Portuguese man, he would have waited to see Cristiano Ronaldo one more time. He should have waited until after the summer to shoot this fucking game. Here's a stupid, here's a very stupid question, but a valid one. What's the difference between fusion and fission? [2:29:58] Do we currently use Fission, correct? Is that what they do? Is Fusion what we don't use? [2:30:04] Which is which? That's not a stupid question. That's an insanely smart question. Because cold fusion is the holy grail. [2:30:12] Nuclear fission and fusion are two distinct nuclear processes that release energy by altering atomic nuclei, but they operate in opposite ways. Fission splits heavy atoms like uranium, while fusion combines light atoms like hydrogen isotopes. [2:30:26] Oh, okay. So is a hydrogen bomb a fusion bomb? Put that in there. J-Mo, bring up T.J. Duckett highlights. Just find out, please. Is a hydrogen bomb a fusion bomb? [2:30:39] Fission. [2:30:40] It's vision, hydrogen bond, but it says it combines light atoms like hydrogen isotopes

[2:30:46] Infusion. [2:30:48] different process. [2:30:51] Okay. [2:30:52] So cold fusion is something that they're all searching for. [2:30:57] Oh, the fuel is uranium and plutonium. [2:31:00] The key difference is... [2:31:04] uh just is a H is a hydrogen bomb [2:31:10] Thank you. [2:31:12] Here we go. [2:31:16] Fusion. [2:31:18] Yeah, so it is. No, yeah. Fission is the trigger. Oh, it uses – how weird. Yeah. It's known as a thermonuclear bomb. It primarily relies on nuclear fusion for its immense destructive power, but it uses nuclear fission as the initial trigger. [2:31:33] Okay. [2:31:35] So fission is the trigger. [2:31:37] Yeah, I think that's what the whole movie they're figuring out in that Oppenheimer movie, like the uranium splitting. And once they figured one out, then they, I don't know. [2:31:46] That's what I got out of it. Bro, and the bombs they make now make these the ones... [2:31:50] They made back then look like little baby bombs. [2:31:54] Sarbamba? There you go. Atomic bomb. It's vision only. [2:31:58] Hydrogen is thermonuclear. [2:32:02] So I think... [2:32:03] It's megatons versus kilotons. This is good. I'm going to crack someone when the bomb goes off. We're getting nukes. I'm going to go, actually. Hold on. [2:32:13] That looks like fission to me. Are you going to try to whack one off if the bomb's coming? You have 30 seconds. I didn't think I was that type of guy. If your head's still up. Based on fucking my experience with Ken Burns, I might be that guy. I don't think. I've never been scared of him. There's no sin in that.

[2:32:29] You're going to go. You're going to go. There's no sin in that. [2:32:33] It is what it is. [2:32:35] I think that's a sin. You don't want to sin right at the end. I don't believe it. Right at the buzzer? I don't believe it. There's a bunch of sins I think people made up. Jacking off? How about wearing two different types of cloth? [2:32:45] Well, I would never. You're not supposed to. That's crazy. That's crazy that you sin if you do that. If you want to go old school. [2:32:52] You're sinning if you do that. We all know. [2:32:55] There's a difference. [2:32:56] You have a conscience. Right. You know. The Jackoff conscience? You know what a sin is. Right. Right. [2:33:01] Depends what you jacked off to. This is the current website to get into the Epstein files. You're now in line. I'm in the queue. I'm in the queue. [2:33:10] Oh, wow. Your estimated wait time is one minute. [2:33:14] Oh, oh. [2:33:15] Is it moving? Oh, less than a minute. Wait, we're going to get into the FD files. Look, we're about to get in. 96%. Less than a minute. We're at 96% getting into the FD files. What do you think is going to pop up first? Oh, it's your turn. Holy shit. Oh, we're going to see some shit. You are now being redirected to the website. [2:33:32] Bro, immediately a virus gets uploaded to your computer. You get a FaceTime video of every jerking off session you're going to have for now to the rest of your life. It'll all be in a database. All right. First thing, it starts off with a privacy notice. Okay. Okay. Type to search. Court records. We're never finding shit. What do you think is going to come out? So this is all happening live. It just happened an hour ago. What do you think is going to come out of all this? I don't know. Type in Donald Trump and search. [2:33:57] We're going to find out real quick what's...

[2:34:03] No results found. Crazy. Please try a different search. Bill Clinton. The greatest president. [2:34:12] Bill Clinton. Saved America. 48,000 results. Yeah, here we go. No results found. Oh, interesting. [2:34:19] Interesting. [2:34:21] Bill Gates. No results found. Crazy. I guess everybody's innocent. Turns out everyone was innocent. He was a lone horniman. Bro. [2:34:29] I mean, there's... [2:34:31] You saw the search. [2:34:33] It's over. Okay. Case closed. [2:34:35] Guys, can we stop talking about FC? [2:34:40] Get over it. Handwritten text portions of these documents may not be electronically searchable or produce unreliable search results. So you've got to dig yourself. Yeah, we're just going to have to wait. We're going to have to wait a few days. You've got to wait for the super nerds. Yeah, let the nerds go through that. Get in there and go to work. The guy's not watching Alabama, Oklahoma. Or Jake Paul, Anthony Joshua. It's going to be incredible. What do you think is going to happen? [2:35:01] I think if... [2:35:04] Joshua tries his hardest. Just a jab will win. [2:35:07] a jab's going to win the fight. He's going to... [2:35:10] It's going to be... Just jab the shit out of him. He's so much taller and bigger. [2:35:14] And he's better at boxing. [2:35:16] It's just crazy that he wanted to do it. [2:35:19] that Jake Paul wanted to fight Anthony Joshua. [2:35:22] I wonder how much Jake got. [2:35:25] Oh, you must be getting an extraordinary amount of money for this. Because everyone's going to watch. Yeah. Yeah. [2:35:30] Whether you're a know-it-all boxing expert type fake guy like me or someone else. No, you know you're boxing. I know a little.

[2:35:38] Those guys are real boxing experts. But the point is – [2:35:41] everyone's going to watch it. Even the casuals, everyone's going to watch it. I'm going to watch it. Because it's nuts. It's a nutty idea. Yeah. [2:35:48] Like, Gervonta Davis is not the best idea. Gervonta is small. He fights at 135. That's crazy. You can't be bigger than the guy. But when the guy is way bigger than you, now I'm interested. Like, okay. For sure. Gervonta would fuck him up. Gervonta is. It depends. I don't know how big Jake is. He's big. [2:36:04] He's way 216 and he's solid as a rock. [2:36:08] And Gervonta fights 135. That's way bigger. Yeah. That's way bigger. Yeah. [2:36:12] There's a lot of, like... [2:36:14] You can only... [2:36:15] Skill is awesome, but it only goes so far when someone's that huge. Yeah. You know. Yeah, just like I would get the shit out of you. Jermonti probably could fuck him up because he's really fucking good. I heard that. There's him knocking down and gone. That's what happened. That's me and you. [2:36:31] Look at this. I'm Joshua. Yeah, that's you. [2:36:34] Dude. [2:36:35] You do not want to get popped by this guy. [2:36:38] Thank you. [2:36:38] He's so big. [2:36:40] And he's been knocking people out forever, man. Wouldn't you think any... [2:36:44] Top heavyweight wouldn't... [2:36:46] Knockout? [2:36:48] Jake Paul? Well, there's guys he said, like, openly he doesn't want to fight. Like, he doesn't want to fight David Benavidez. He's like, fuck that. Yeah. I don't want to fight that guy. But he thinks Joshua is... I don't get it, man. Benavidez is fucking terrifying. Make no mistake about it. What about Ruiz? You could have got Ruiz out there. [2:37:05] Which one? Isn't that the chubby guy?

[2:37:08] Oh, Andy. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [2:37:11] Could have got him out. [2:37:15] But he might not have taken it easy. I think there's... [2:37:18] Yeah, Andy O'Reilly is dangerous. Trying to find a guy who's going to take it easy. You think Josh was going to take it easy? Yeah. [2:37:23] Well, that's what I was saying about the speech he gave. I don't know. That seems like a wild card. [2:37:28] That was a crazy speech. It seems like a guy who's... I never heard that speech. ...up to do whatever. I can't believe that I never saw that until you brought it up. It got weird, I think. I kept watching it. No, no, don't make it... It got... It got... You did some hip-hip-parees and... It got weird, dude. I was watching it because I like Anthony Joshua and I was watching it going... [2:37:43] This is fucking crazy. [2:37:45] Well... [2:37:46] When he outboxes you like that, he's a smaller guy, and he outboxes you two fights in a row. It really batters you a little bit. [2:37:53] at least in one of them. [2:37:55] There were some moments in the last round where he was just getting boxed up, man. [2:38:01] Usyk's so good. He's so slick. [2:38:04] That guy's 38. Yeah. [2:38:06] Thank you. [2:38:07] Post-fight, though, I'll give anyone... [2:38:10] You can say anything. [2:38:11] Like, I remember when McGregor broke his leg. Yeah. And everyone was like, I can't believe he's saying all this. It's like, dude. [2:38:17] Right. He was in a fight 20 seconds ago. Yeah. He's going to be saying crazy shit. [2:38:22] And his leg's broken. He's in shock. He's in terrible pain. Yeah. Yeah. [2:38:26] Like... [2:38:27] I don't know. Post-fight interview is like, they're going to say wild shit. They're just in a fight. Yeah. [2:38:32] If there's ever a time where someone should have pulled out of a fight, it's that one. [2:38:37] Oh, his leg was... His leg was fucked up before that fight. They knew it. They had done MRIs on it and shit. They didn't know what it was. You know, it was probably like a deep bone bruise. But then the next impact on it snapped it. Maybe he had a hairline fracture or something. Yeah, it wasn't just a check. It was compromised. It wasn't much, man.

[2:38:53] It wasn't much. It wasn't much when you consider all the times. It's weird because sometimes it doesn't take much. It's just it hits the kneecap the right way or the shin at the high spot, like the top of the shin up here. [2:39:06] It's so hard to break, and the flexible part of your shin will just snap on it. But that one didn't kind of look like that. [2:39:12] and then when I heard afterwards that it was already compromised going into that fight I'm like oh man that's a bad idea [2:39:20] But you think you could do anything when you're Conor McGregor. You know, like, fuck this guy. He beat me the first fight, but I'm going to fuck him up the second fight. Being Conor McGregor is literally being on cocaine. Yeah. Whether you're on it or not. [2:39:36] Bro, he had the wildest press conferences back when he was fighting Jose Aldo. That must have been so fun to be at those. They were crazy. How fun was it? I didn't go to press conferences. I watched them. Oh, really? How about the weigh-ins, though? That must have been. The weigh-ins were wild. The whole crowd's Irish. The weigh-ins were crazy, yeah. [2:39:50] The weigh-ins are crazy also because that's a day – that's when they used to have to really weigh in. [2:39:55] So you had to get on the scale in front of everybody. Now they have ceremonial weigh-in. So now you weigh in, and then you rehydrate, and then you get on the scale, and I say, official weight is 145. Everybody cheers. So when Conor is standing there facing off with Jose Aldo, he looks like a skeleton. Bro, he looked. Yeah, see if you can find that. He looked. It was crazy. [2:40:17] Thank you. [2:40:18] So let's see him get on the scale.

[2:40:24] That's Chelsea, all, though. [2:40:26] So Connor would get on first. Connor got on first. Look at him. Bro, look how sunken in he is. [2:40:36] I mean, he must be feeling like utter dog shit. [2:40:40] Yeah, how do you not faint? [2:40:45] Joseph. [2:40:46] That's hot as bugs [2:40:48] No cut. [2:40:49] played it quiet this week. [2:40:50] He ain't playing the quiet. [2:40:53] Painting a kick. Like I have to get between everybody. I don't think Jose really looks scared. It is Conor McGregor. [2:41:02] Once again, the Irish fans have come out for the biggest UFC featherweight title fight ever! [2:41:10] Give us your thoughts on tomorrow night. [2:41:13] And Jose Aldo as an opponent. [2:41:16] I know, madam. [2:41:17] I'm sick of talking about Jose. [2:41:19] I visualise and I look at his facial features and I know that the soft parts of his face won't be able to take my shots. I just want to thank the Irish people for coming out here for me. It means everything. Tomorrow night, I will bring that goal home for Ireland once again. Conor McGregor, ladies and gentlemen. [2:41:38] Brother, that was back when he was fighting 145. [2:41:42] That boy was big at 145. Chugging electrolytes. Let me see what they look like. Jose Aldo was big at 145 too, man. [2:41:51] Jose Aldo was one of the greatest 145-pounders ever. Bro, not to be a psycho. I didn't know Charlie Kirk was.

[2:41:59] Holy shit. Bro. That's dark. It's not. [2:42:05] He speaks Portuguese. Trust me. It's not Charlie Kerr. [2:42:09] Son of a bitch. No, I'm not making light of anything. That looked exactly like Charlie Kerr. If you meet him, he does it. It's just the angle. [2:42:18] Yeah, hold on. It's just the angle, I'm telling you. No, you're into something. What is going on here? Crisis actors. You ever see those people that get super obsessed with crisis actors? Well, hold on. That's another thing. That's a good point. Now, look at where he looks the next day. [2:42:35] his face. Oh, it's completely filled in. [2:42:38] I wonder if back then you were allowed to use... [2:42:42] IVs [2:42:44] Because you wait in the same day. [2:42:47] I mean, excuse me, you weighed in on the scale, not the same day, the day before. [2:42:51] Black Jones. [2:42:55] modern [2:42:56] Oh my god [2:43:01] First time I've ever said he slept him ever in a fight. It just came out. Yeah. Because it was like, that's what he did. He just slept him. [2:43:08] That was crazy. And the fact that he did it after months and months and months of taunting and shit-talking. Worst case. Woo! For Aldo's worst case. God, that blows. It blows. Yeah. [2:43:21] And it was, yeah, just a quick... [2:43:23] Oh, that sucks. But you ever see Aldo in his prime? Yeah. Aldo when he was in the WEC. Didn't see that.

[2:43:32] Bro. [2:43:32] Um... [2:43:34] Aldo won't use – this is the first time in years Aldo won't use IVs to rehydrate. [2:43:40] I think the band that just started. Oh, that's crazy. [2:43:46] That was when it happened? Six months before that is when it started. Oh, well, so Aldo always got big at 145 and there was a few weigh-ins where he got real big, where he had a really hard time making 145. And then he started fighting at 135. And he just got like a real good guy, like a specialist to help him with the weight cut. And he made it pretty easy. [2:44:11] nutritionist, got everything dialed in. Just makes you think, like if that guy was at 35 the whole time, he'd be like, [2:44:17] Thank you. [2:44:18] He was fucking everybody up at 45, you know? [2:44:21] Thank you. [2:44:23] I bet everybody remembers him for that fight. Yeah. [2:44:25] That's a problem. That's a tough one. He was so good, dude. Wasn't he still fighting? He just retired. Yeah. Yeah, just retired. Like this year. Yeah. [2:44:34] I think he got a very close decision that didn't go his way. Yeah. And he retired. That's right. [2:44:39] I watched it, yeah. [2:44:42] Yeah. [2:44:43] He kept going. I mean, he's kind of how you win the war. [2:44:48] And he survived. Zahabi survived. And he just emptied the gas tank trying to take him out. [2:44:54] And then Zahabi was on top in the end of the fight. Who do you like now? Who's a young guy? Because you told me about Jack Della Maddalena a while ago.

[2:45:02] Oh, Altiba Gaultier. [2:45:06] This guy from Cameroon. [2:45:07] Really? Oh! Yeah. He's fucking terrified. Did he fight last? He's 185 pounds, 6'4", built like a Greek god, smokes everybody. Yeah. [2:45:19] Everybody just gets smoked. Did he fight last week? No, he didn't fight last week. But I'm not sure when he's fighting again. But see if you can find a highlight reel of his KOs. Bro. Yeah. What's his name again? [2:45:33] Ateba Gautier. [2:45:36] I hope I'm saying it right. Could have never spelled it. Yeah, when you have to say it in a way in. [2:45:42] But this guy. No, I've seen you. I've seen you fucking write the mouth. I fuck it up. Yeah, I fuck it up all the time. There's too many guys. I can't remember all of them. But this guy, just his style, however I mispronounce his name or get it right, his fucking style. He's terrifying. What the fuck is that guy? Bro, he's 185. And the guy on the left, Sean Strickland, used to be the 85-pound champion. [2:46:04] And still one of the best 85-pounders in the world. The silent assassin... [2:46:08] Just see if you can find a highlight reel. [2:46:12] They got some... [2:46:13] action of this dude just fucking people up. [2:46:16] Megan will leave me. So yeah, back it up a little so we can see. [2:46:21] Just fucking people up, dude. Terrifying power. [2:46:25] super speed, excellent technique, everything. Yeah. Guy's got a bunch of cats. [2:46:30] I like that. He lives in a house with Cass. That's a psycho. Yeah. He likes to go visit Cass. That's a psycho. Yeah. Bro, he's good, man. He's good. Super fucking strong, too. Very, you know, like...

[2:46:40] Very big for the weight class. [2:46:43] an awesome striking how old is he man? young [2:46:48] Oh. Bro. Bro. [2:46:49] He fought this dude, and that guy was so fucking tough. Yeah, he loved it. And that guy just kept waving him in. Yeah, bro. It was, I mean, most humans... [2:47:00] would have been gone before that. This guy hung in there as long as he could. Still kicking. Still trying to get him off him. Yeah. [2:47:06] But that dude, he's... That guy's the future. I feel like there was a... [2:47:11] He's the future. I feel like the jacked Africans eventually run into a nasty, dirty white guy. They could run into a Russian wrestler. No, like Ngannou Miochich. He's just a guy that's like a firefighter from Cleveland. He's 23. [2:47:24] Oh, he's 23? The thing you have to recognize about Francis and Donald, though, is that... [2:47:29] Francis Ngannou, when he fought Miochis for the world title, had only been doing MMA for like four years. Yeah. [2:47:37] Like when they had a rematch a couple of years later, Francis was a different human being. Yeah. And he fucked him up and he was real patient. But that first fight. First fight was crazy. That was just a guy surviving. Yeah. He's going to get tired. Yeah. It was awesome. It was awesome. It was like probably one of Stipe's most impressive victories because Francis was like flatlining everybody. [2:48:00] And he also took a lot of shots in that fight. He did. He ate a lot of big shots. I was cheering for the white. Were you? [2:48:07] Yeah. If you don't know the sport, you go, I'm cheering for the fucking shitty looking white guy. I hope he wins. Who's he fighting? The most jacked black dude of all time? Literally. Yeah. He's a guy who has to cut weight to make 265 natural. Fan of the Mexicans, too. I like to see a Mexican get in there. Oh, bro. Like that guy that was just taunting. That guy, that's hilarious. They got a spirit for fighting, I'll tell you that.

[2:48:28] There's like a Mexican fighting spirit. There's been so many Mexican combat sports champions. [2:48:34] Like, think about how many boxers that are, like, world champions that were Mexican. The number's nuts. Yeah. [2:48:41] Julio Cesar, Chavez, Canelo, Salvador Sanchez. You can go down the line forever and ever and ever. There's so many Mexican champions. They're like Jews in Nobel Peace Prize. They got their thing, bro. [2:48:55] It's so true. Oh, this is what I was going to say earlier about the crisis actors. It's the same thing as like... [2:49:01] Like when they go, that's a crisis actor. [2:49:03] Right. It's like, no, you just went through the most insane... [2:49:07] It's like interviewing a fighter after a fight. [2:49:09] He's going to be weird. Right. Like, you don't know how you would react. Yeah, you have no idea. You go, this is a fucking crisis actor. It's like, dude, he just went through something he didn't know was happening. Definitely. And all of a sudden, it's the worst thing ever. But also, don't you think crisis actors are real? [2:49:24] and [2:49:26] Like if you were going to pull off a major propaganda event and you could hire someone to pretend that something happened and give a narrative and get that guy on camera right away. How many actors do you know? [2:49:38] A lot, right? [2:49:39] Yeah, I know a good amount. How many do you think would keep their fucking mouth shut about whatever they're working on? Zero. But here's the thing. [2:49:47] You don't have to be an actor to act. Of course. [2:49:49] Right? [2:49:51] Thank you. [2:49:51] Kevin Durant was really good in – not Kevin Durant. Kevin Durant rules. Kevin Barnett was really good. Kevin Durant's on your brain. That's so funny.

[2:49:59] You got fucking Durantula on the brain? Anyway. [2:50:03] People have acted. [2:50:04] that are not actors and done a great job. Yeah, there you go. None of us can act. No, but wait, crisis actors? I genuinely don't know if that's... Well, I know that MKUltra exists, right? For sure. So you know they do mind control. And you know they do regime change things. You know they do propaganda. Do you think they've ever put together something fake? Yes, I think... [2:50:30] I think maybe pulling down that statue in Iraq, they had some fucking... [2:50:34] brown people show up and be like, yeah, we like this. I don't think, like Sandy Hook, a guy getting done with Sandy Hook, his kids just died. [2:50:42] And right before he gets interviewed, he's like smiling. No, no, no. No, no, of course. That's a touching one. But like... [2:50:47] People going, that's a crisis actor. Because he was smiling before the interview. It's like, dude, he's a mental nut job. His kid just got killed. Who knows what happened with that guy? You know what I mean? Yeah, you can't. I think it'd be tough to get American crisis actors. I think it would be tough. [2:51:03] Yeah. Because somebody would go, I went to fucking middle school with that guy. For sure. That's a good point. I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong. No, no, it's a real good point. I think it's easy to get a group of Muslims in Iraq to be like... [2:51:12] Celebrate when we tear down the Saddam statue. Do you remember... [2:51:16] when Benghazi happened, [2:51:18] And then there was this... Was it Benghazi that was attached to that weird video... [2:51:22] There was a weird video that someone had made. [2:51:25] It was like an anti-Muslim video, and they were trying to say that the attack was in response to this video. Yeah.

[2:51:32] I'm not sure. Do you remember? There was something really kooky, and people were not buying it. [2:51:38] It was real weird. There was some sort of... [2:51:42] American propaganda film about Muslims. [2:51:47] God, I don't remember it. [2:51:50] Does that any of this ring a bell, Jamie? [2:51:52] Thank you. [2:51:52] Sort of. I'm trying to remember what it would have been about. [2:51:55] There was like a video that they were trying to say, oh, they attacked us because of this video. And then everybody was like, wait, what? And then it made more people like dig into the whole story behind the thing. That's not true. And go, whoa, you guys are lying about all kinds of shit. No, they're lying about all types of shit without a doubt. Always. I'm just saying – [2:52:12] after a school shooting or a thing in America, having... [2:52:17] Fake actors. It seems impossible. Seems impossible to me. It seems impossible. Not because I don't think they would like to do that. [2:52:25] Right. It just seems like it's been too difficult. But they... [2:52:30] They definitely used agent provocateurs. Without a doubt. They definitely did at the Capitol. Without a doubt. They used guys that pretended to be – [2:52:38] patriots. [2:52:40] That's right. The Innocence of Muslims. That's the film. Oh, yeah. The amateur film created by Nakula Nakula. That's a real person. [2:52:48] Nikola Nikola is a real person? No. That's crazy. Yeah, right. Couldn't even name him. The fucking CIA is so lazy. There's a drawing of him. That's me. Nikola Nikola, you know me. All we got of him is a drawing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a fucking drawing of this guy.

[2:53:08] Wasn't it kind of like hot? So it depicted the Prophet Muhammad in a derogatory manner, sparking widespread anger and protests across the Islamic world, including Cairo and Benghazi. [2:53:20] So the Obama administration initially described the attack as a spontaneous reaction to these protests, a narrator that faced immediate criticism from conservatives who believed it was a premeditated terror attack. [2:53:35] Aha. [2:53:36] The film fueled initial anger. Intelligence later suggested a more organized terror element with attackers having specific knowledge of the compound and its security. Yeah, that's the story. So they try to blame it on people freaking out because of the video. [2:53:50] Thank you. [2:53:51] And even the whole making of the video, what is the controversy behind the making of the video? Is there any connections to shenanigans with the making of the video? Oh, no. [2:54:01] Like intelligence agencies? Yeah, yeah, yeah. [2:54:04] Probably. Probably. [2:54:08] I wish the CIA would talk to me. What would they tell you? Bro, keep it up. [2:54:13] Good job. We like you. We like your vibe. I go, dude, I fuck with you guys. I fucking hated JFK. Whoa. Is that what you said? Yeah, I go, bro. Sick job. I think these guys probably all like JFK. I like JFK. [2:54:26] Yeah, I think you've got to be careful. [2:54:28] Some of those guys didn't like the old guard. We're different. The CIA. We're doing things actually in America's interest. [2:54:35] What do you think they're up to? Who knows? They're not up to nothing. I'll tell you that.

[2:54:41] They're doing something. It's not like they're just chilling. They're definitely up to something. Yeah. [2:54:48] I'd ask Mike Baker, but he's very coy. [2:54:50] He is. Very coy with those answers. You ever get the CIA boys coming? What do you mean? Have they ever talked to you? Him? Him? Yeah. I mean, he doesn't work for the CIA anymore, Shane Gillis. [2:55:01] He's retired now. For sure. He has zero connection with him now. But then he just goes on the biggest platform in the world. Every now and again. Yeah, I'm sure he's done. It's interesting hearing his perspective because you've got to know how they think. Like, what are the top brass? Like, what's their objectives with all this... [2:55:16] fucking super spy shit. Oh, you know what? This comes out when? I bet we're at war with Venezuela. [2:55:22] Do you think that's real? They're going for it, right? I thought they weren't. [2:55:25] I thought they decided not to. I hope not. [2:55:27] I don't think anybody's going to really support that. [2:55:30] At all. No. It would be a terrible idea, but also those plaques. Yeah, they don't give a fuck. Those plaques are a fucking terrible idea. He obviously doesn't give a fuck. The tweet. The tweet's a terrible idea. [2:55:40] Yeah. [2:55:41] I know [2:55:44] Thank you. [2:55:45] Yeah, why the fuck would we ever do that? [2:55:46] No. [2:55:47] I hope not. Trump and top aides refuse to rule out war with Venezuela. All right, that's fair. That's fair. I know what that article is. Maybe it's orders Venezuelan Navy to escort oil tankers after seizure by U.S. forces. [2:56:00] I understand the refuse. They're saying refuse to rule it out. That just means some reporter was there like, will you do that? And he was like, shut up. Quiet. Quiet. So it seems. Quiet.

[2:56:12] Refused to rule out the potential for open conflict. [2:56:15] as Nicolas Maduro urged his Navy to escort oil tankers to find the largest U.S. fleet deployed in the region in decades. In an interview broadcast on Friday morning, Donald Trump told NBC News that going to war with Maduro's regime remains on the table. I don't rule it out, no, he said in a phone interview with the network. [2:56:33] And at a year-end press conference at the State Department, Marco Rubio doubled down on remarks by other Trump advisors that U.S. could coerce Maduro through its campaign of strikes on alleged drug boats traveling towards the United States. Why are we letting Marco Rubio say shit? [2:56:50] Thank you. [2:56:50] I don't know. [2:56:51] What were we talking about Rubio earlier? What was it? [2:56:54] He was talking shit again. What was earlier? What was it about? It was early in the podcast, like three hours ago. Oh, about deporting that girl. He was like, yeah, we didn't give you that visa. It's like, bro, no one elected you. [2:57:06] You lost. [2:57:07] You got made fun of. [2:57:09] You were little Marco. You were sweaty little Marco. I remember. [2:57:13] He's the guy that's going to release all the UFO docs. [2:57:16] Oh, is he? Yeah. All right, well then, cool. Allegedly. That's what they do to get us to keep voting. They go, yo, Epstein Files, we got them. We got it. [2:57:24] Just look up Bill Gates. Nothing. [2:57:27] Yo, vote for us. We're going to get the UFC files. The UFOs, that's the real thing. [2:57:31] It's the most important thing. We're working on that right now. I'm real close. I'm going to get the skiff. I don't know. I'll be right back. I've been around the country. I think we've got bigger fish to fry. There's a lot of fucking UFOs. Bro, there was this lady who did this video.

[2:57:44] who just went to Los Angeles for five days and was talking about how she hadn't been there in a long time and what it was like. [2:57:52] And she said that... [2:57:54] Skid Row is 50. How many blocks is Skid Row? Because I swear she said it's 50 blocks. [2:58:00] No. Campy. Campy. It's the whole city. It's like downtown. How many blocks is it? Downtown's 50 blocks. How many blocks? Oh, it is. [2:58:06] How many blocks is... [2:58:09] How many blocks is skid row? How do you even measure things by blocks? Blocks aren't universally the same size, are they? Look at that. [2:58:17] 50 bucks? That is roughly 50 or 54 blocks. [2:58:19] It's a quarter mile. Square quarter mile. It's a quarter mile of chaos. Do you know how crazy that is? It's crazy. You know how crazy that is? [2:58:28] That's how bad Skid Row is. And she said, you don't understand it until you get there. And she said the entire city has a heavy feel to it. Like it doesn't feel right. Like it feels off. [2:58:42] Thank you. [2:58:44] Is that a real sign? Skid Row. You want to be a loser? Wait, hold on. Skid Row is actually the name of it? Yeah. Oh, I thought it was like... You've got to go down there and check it out, bro. I've been. It's complete insanity. You've got to go to Kensington and Allegheny. They've shut down the streets. Fire that up. It's just people... Give me some Google images. People just live in there. Just live on the streets. K&A in Philly. [2:59:05] But this is crazy. This is 50 blocks. [2:59:09] Whatever you guys got is a tiny little bitch-ass skid row. No, no, no. No, no, no. We're doing the real deal. You went from the big skid row to little bitch-ass skid row. No, no, no. We're doing... How many blocks you got? We're the epicenter of heroin. Let's take a bet. I'd say Philly was there before skid row. No, no. I would say...

[2:59:23] Philly's got it way worse. [2:59:24] Really? More blogs? Not more people, no. [2:59:27] But that. It's that. But that's Skid Row 2, man. I think it's the same. [2:59:33] I think derelicts are the same everywhere, but here they could freeze to death. [2:59:36] That is the difference. That's the difference. They're a little more hardcore. Yeah, I can't say. I don't know. [2:59:42] Philly ones can freeze to death. K&A is... [2:59:46] Bad. [2:59:46] I think it's the worst place I've seen in America. [2:59:49] Jesus Christ. I was just in Portland and... [2:59:53] Thank you. [2:59:54] That's it. [2:59:55] It's such a cool city. [2:59:57] It's like going to San Francisco where you're like, damn, this is an awesome city. [3:00:01] It's just fucked up. [3:00:03] but I don't want to [3:00:07] The homelessness problem is a real – It's a real crazy issue. And no one can come up with a solution. It's not. It might be the result of an issue that already happened and now it's too late to fix. [3:00:20] And how do you fix it? [3:00:21] I don't know. [3:00:22] I haven't heard one good fucking answer. Nope. Nope. [3:00:26] Not one. Other than just every single person I know going, fucking, the city sucks. There's no solution. Also, they're throwing so much money at the problem, and it's not getting at all better, which is not a good sign. That usually means there's a hole in your bucket, dear Lila. I bet there's a hole in the bucket. I bet there is. There is a hole. They've proven it. There's people that are making a ton of money. It's a whole complex of people that are making a ton of money working on homelessness. That's how it is. Anytime there's an issue, somebody's going to be making a fuck ton of money on it. Always.

[3:00:56] people are dirty didn't the Clintons make a fuck ton of money on Haiti? did they? I don't know, allegedly did they? they made money on Haiti? [3:01:04] Put that into perplexity. [3:01:06] How would they have made money on Haiti? [3:01:08] I think they're just... [3:01:10] took some of the [3:01:12] Donations? What happened? Fuck if I know. I think somebody owned a fucking mind down there. Didn't like a rapper wind up going to jail for that? [3:01:20] Yeah, he went to jail, right? I don't know. I don't know what that was about. Or he got arrested and... [3:01:25] sentenced if he hasn't gone to jail. [3:01:28] Sentence of 14 years in prison for a major foreign influence scheme, including illegally funding millions of dollars from Malaysian financier Joe Lowe to former President Barack Obama's 2012 campaign lobbying for China. [3:01:39] Whoa. You'd think that would be a bigger story. Whoa. [3:01:44] . [3:01:45] What is he from again? The Fugees. Oh, damn. That's crazy. They took two hits. Because Lauryn Hill. Yeah. Oh, that's crazy. Spent the night down there for a few days. He probably was holding the bag, dude. [3:02:00] They got Lauryn Hill for tax evasion, remember? They put her away. They hate the Fugees. Bro, that's crazy. Yeah. [3:02:07] Wyclef John's... But it seems like this dude was involved. It seems like the Fugees might have been up to no good. Wyclef John, I love that Stayin' Alive version. [3:02:18] He rules. Oh, he rules. [3:02:19] But he had an issue with Haiti too, right? He's Haitian. [3:02:23] Right. But didn't... Wasn't there like... Probably. Probably.

[3:02:26] Thank you. [3:02:27] I think a lot of the... [3:02:29] Money got funny down there. [3:02:31] As it will do when money is the worst thing I've ever seen. There's a documentary on Haitian prisons. Oh, no. You want to see bro? It's like fucking 90 people in a cell. That's designed to fit like 10 people. Oh, and also there's no due process because they don't they can't process everybody. So there's guys in there that are like, yo, I didn't do anything and I'm here for 15 years. And then there's an earthquake and everyone gets out. Oh, my God. And then they go. [3:02:59] I think that guy was in prison. [3:03:01] pick them up. [3:03:02] It's just a fucking guy who's like, yeah, I wasn't... [3:03:05] Now you're in the worst prison on earth. [3:03:08] Yeah, it's a tough one. No verified evidence shows Bill or Hillary Clinton personally profited or received salaries from Haiti-related activities through the Clinton Foundation. The foundation raised around $30 to $500 million. [3:03:23] What? For Haiti, post-2010 earthquake, directing funds to aid groups, investments, and projects like hotels and factories without taking administrative overhead. [3:03:36] You get 500 million, they're not going to notice 15 million. [3:03:40] Shane, don't you just read AI and just recognize the truth and stop being conspiracy theorists? I'm not conspiracy theorists. I'm thinking about the college football playoff, which has a lot of conspiracies. Oh, really? The Protestants formed against the Irish. Oh, no. All the Southern Protestants joined against the Catholics. Tale as old as time. It's IRA versus... Last time they tried to join against us, we marched down there and burned down their fucking cities. So watch out.

[3:04:10] Art like a substitute for war. You'd think we'd have more presidents. [3:04:13] The Catholics. [3:04:15] Yeah, they only had one. [3:04:16] Biden, too. Oh, Biden's Catholic. We got Biden. Allegedly. True. We only got one. He got shot. [3:04:22] And then Biden was doing auto sign. [3:04:24] Give us a good one. [3:04:26] Yeah. You got anybody in mind? [3:04:30] Nick Fuentes? [3:04:32] He could probably win in a few years. Hold on. Let's talk. Listen, he couldn't have existed before. [3:04:38] Right? [3:04:38] 20 years ago, couldn't have existed. Now, super popular. What's 20 years from now look like? Maybe someone like that can win. [3:04:47] Thank you. [3:04:48] Well, we'll see. I got to pee so bad. We got to wrap this up anyway. I'm sorry, 418. We got that one at the buzzer. Yeah. Well... [3:04:55] Listen, I will say this. [3:04:57] about it. It's fascinating to watch that [3:05:02] There's like a whole group of people that feel very unrepresented in the world. [3:05:09] and especially like young men. [3:05:11] And here you've got this young guy with a very high verbal IQ. And he also... [3:05:16] Does a lot of shit posting, a lot of talking shit, a lot of trolling. Says women shouldn't be allowed to vote. This is wild shit. Wild shit. And that Piers Morgan thing is like, bro, that was like an expert – [3:05:30] sparring with someone who thought they were an expert. Sure. Like, they're playing two totally different games. And it's also the thing that people try to get Fuentes on is he's still funny as fuck. It's funny. So that's where you're in a lot of trouble. When he hits him, do you think the Holocaust – you made jokes about the Holocaust? He goes –

[3:05:46] Too soon? Like, dude. And you could see he's wild. You could see, but you could see Pierce going, oh, fuck. Bro, when he was like, me mom died. I was like, holy shit. Bro, he got hit. He got hit with a missile on that one. Too soon? Too soon, I was like, oh, my God. I don't know if this is AI or not, but this photo just popped up online. Oh, no. What is it? I'm just having a good time. He got a head from a block? There's a black block. He got a head from a Polish person? A blockhead? Yeah. [3:06:16] well duh well duh oh yeah duh trump or fucking clinton got ahead in a hot tub can you imagine if you were one of those guys and you were like finally i got a place where i can get my free call i will say dude you ever try to get ahead in a hot tub [3:06:32] That seems gross. It's fucking impossible. Let's go inside. Let's go inside. [3:06:35] This is nuts. [3:06:38] I appreciate your enthusiasm. This is not ideal. Now I'm like barely hard. It's fucking water's chemical smell. Don't give me a head in the hot tub. You shouldn't get that on your mouth anyway. Fucking chemical water from that hot tub destroying your endocrine system. All right. All right. Good shit. Love you. It was a lot of fun. Bye, everybody. [3:07:05] Bye. [3:07:13] This episode is brought to you by LifeLock. Lots of places can accidentally expose you to identity theft. Doctors' offices, online retailers, insurance companies, the list goes on. Thankfully, LifeLock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second for threats to your identity, which is way more than anyone could do on their own. LifeLock keeps an eye on your personal information, credit applications, finances, and more.

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[3:09:13] Thank you.